I take pride in being an engaged parent, attuned to my children’s needs and dedicated to fulfilling them. However, the ongoing pandemic has significantly impacted my well-being. Since March, working and learning from home has become our new normal, and I find myself completely drained.
It’s not merely the constant sibling squabbles, navigating my partner’s frustrations, or squeezing in exercise while managing work and meal prep that’s wearing me down. The most challenging aspect of this homebound experience is the relentless decision fatigue.
Every few minutes, I’m faced with a choice to make. Whether it’s my children asking what snack we’ll have or my struggle to decide between fixing the Wi-Fi or answering a long-awaited call, the interruptions seem endless. Just as I’m about to settle on one decision, another query arises, creating a loop that feels impossible to escape.
Making decisions has become a continuous cycle, akin to a child’s tantrum—there’s only so long you can ignore the chaos before you must respond. Once one crisis is resolved, another emerges.
Initially, being at home felt like a staycation. While we still had responsibilities, the atmosphere was more relaxed. We enjoyed more family time, with leisurely meals and outdoor breaks. The warmer weather lifted our spirits, and we naively assumed that the pandemic would soon be a fleeting memory.
Yet, as weeks turned into months, the harsh reality hit. The pandemic’s challenges are far from over. Each day, my family looks to me to outline our weekly meal plan, daily schedules, and chore assignments. I juggle questions about shower rotations and coordinate practice schedules for musical instruments—one of which is drums—around my partner’s work calls and my writing time. During remote learning, I find myself bouncing between kids to address their issues, fulfill their requests, and maintain my sanity.
I am grateful for our safe environment and the space we have to learn, play, and work together. However, this continuous proximity has intensified the pressure on me to make every decision for the family, leaving me utterly exhausted. No amount of self-care or an afternoon nap can remedy almost a year of decision fatigue.
On one hand, I enjoy being in control. I’m a type-A personality, often thriving on organization. Despite my abilities—like creating chore charts and managing schedules—my mind and body are weary from being bombarded with yet another question.
These aren’t life-altering decisions, but rather countless small choices that accumulate, with many influencing subsequent outcomes. Often, I find myself making several decisions simultaneously.
My partner and I approach decision-making differently; I tend to be more decisive, while he prefers a more thoughtful approach. This dynamic means the kids know they can come to me for quick answers. While I appreciate my partner’s thoroughness in long-term planning, the daily decisions—such as managing remote learning, household order, and parenting—mostly fall on my shoulders. I used to take pride in this, but lately, I feel a growing resentment towards being the go-to problem-solver.
I understand that some may suggest delegating responsibilities. Trust me, my children handle many tasks independently. I’m not raising dependent kids; as a former college instructor, I’ve witnessed the consequences of over-involvement. I also know some might recommend prioritizing self-care. I do make time for long baths, weekend sleep-ins, reading, and binge-watching shows. However, most days, I am constantly “on.” If you’re a parent, you likely share this experience.
The daily grind is exhausting for every parent. We’re all doing our best amid a situation we never anticipated. Remember when we optimistically thought 2020 would be our best year yet? It feels like a cruel joke now.
Today, my children approached me simultaneously, each demanding different snacks just after lunch. For a moment, I stood in disbelief as they swarmed me. Finally, I firmly told them, “No, just no.” Later, when one asked to have their tech time early, it set off a cascade of pleading from the others. I had to say no again. While I usually resist their begging, there have been times during this pandemic when I’ve felt so overwhelmed that I declared, “I’m not accepting any requests.” I’m not here to be a DJ at an event.
There have also been moments when I completely shut down, calling my partner for help and retreating to my room, desperate for just a few seconds of peace without someone asking me to make a decision, no matter how trivial.
The pandemic has revealed both our strengths and weaknesses, presenting vital lessons along the way. I’ve learned to establish boundaries and let go of the trivial things. Yet, despite my efforts at self-care, the support from my partner, and my generally well-behaved kids, I remain utterly fatigued from the constant decision-making.
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In summary, the ongoing pandemic has significantly contributed to my decision fatigue, leading to feelings of burnout. Despite my efforts to manage responsibilities and practice self-care, the relentless cycle of choices has left me drained. Establishing boundaries and navigating daily demands are essential for maintaining my well-being during these challenging times.
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