Recently, while running some errands, I tuned into a classic rock radio station and was taken aback to hear Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam belting out “Even Flow.” I mean, I thought grunge was a distant memory, not a classic! I’ve long since packed away my flannel shirts and Doc Martens, yet here I am, realizing that perhaps I’ve entered the realm of the “classic.” The funny thing is, aside from the occasional hangover that lingers longer than it used to, I don’t feel older at all.
As I approach 39, with the big 4-0 looming ahead, I reflect on my tumultuous 30th birthday spent crying on a barstool in New Orleans. If that was my 30s, I’m ready to embrace my 40s with a smile. While I may not desire to return to my younger years filled with poor choices and self-doubt, I do cherish the lessons learned. Here are five pivotal insights from my 20s that I carry with me as I step into this new decade:
1. You Don’t Have All the Answers
In my younger years, I was convinced I had life all figured out—especially the ins and outs of relationships, careers, and parenting. I was quick to judge myself and others, believing that my education made me an expert. I wish someone had told me that true wisdom comes from experiences, not just textbooks. As I continue my journey toward a PhD, I realize the value of informal education—a lesson that is more relevant than ever.
2. It’s Okay Not to Have a Plan
Society often pressures young adults to have a clear path mapped out: good grades, stable jobs, marriage, and kids. While goals are essential for motivation, they shouldn’t be viewed as rigid roadmaps. Through different career explorations, I learned the importance of flexibility and being open to new opportunities that life throws your way.
3. Embrace Your Body
For a long time, I struggled with body image, often influenced by societal standards and family dynamics. In my early 20s, I began a practice of self-acceptance—spending time in front of the mirror to appreciate my body instead of criticizing it. By focusing on three things I love about myself, I slowly shifted my perspective. This practice is vital for anyone grappling with self-image.
4. Value Your Finances
Like many, I learned the worth of a dollar during my teenage years. After landing a better-paying job, I thought it meant more spending power. By 25, I had amassed a mountain of clothes and shoes but little else to show for my efforts. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I truly understood the difference between needs and wants, and the value of saving for what truly matters.
5. Know the Difference Between Risks and Foolishness
We often hear that without risk, there’s no reward. However, there’s a fine line between taking calculated risks and making reckless decisions. Engaging in activities like wandering foreign cities alone or driving after a few drinks isn’t bravery—it’s foolishness. Through my experiences, I learned that real risk-taking involves stepping out of your comfort zone while still prioritizing your safety.
Having spent numerous hours mentoring young adults in their late teens and early 20s, I know that these lessons are often learned through experience rather than advice. I can only imagine the challenges my own daughter will face as she navigates her youth. As I prepare for the next chapter, I find comfort in the wisdom I’ve gained—an invaluable gift that continues to shape my journey.
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In summary, the lessons from my 20s have not only informed my decisions but have also shaped my understanding of life. As I move forward, I carry these insights with me, confident that they will continue to guide me in the years to come.
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