Hey there, future college student! So, your dad called me and mentioned that you think I forgot to teach you how to do laundry. Let me assure you, that was a deliberate choice. I spent the last 18 years washing your clothes so you could focus on more important things—like studying, building your resume, and mastering that Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app. But since you’re heading to the dorms tomorrow, it’s high time to learn. Here’s a straightforward guide to tackle laundry like a pro:
- Check Those Labels: Before diving in, take a look at the labels on any fancy or expensive items. If it says “dry clean only,” set it aside for now. Honestly, though, who has the budget for that? Let’s just donate it and get a tax write-off. After all, we need all the help we can get to fund your college adventure!
- Sort by Color: Separate your laundry into piles. Dark colors like blues, blacks, and purples go in one pile. Reds, oranges, and pinks in another. Whites? Yeah, they need their own space too. If you decide to mix your reds and whites, get ready for a wardrobe flashback to when you were five—all pink, all the time!
- Washing Time: Ready to wash? Toss your darks into the machine, set the water to cold, and choose a wash cycle (permanent press, 8, 10, or 12 minutes—it’s not rocket science). Add a capful of detergent—don’t overdo it, though. You rarely exercise, so your clothes shouldn’t be too stinky! Turn the machine on and let it do its thing.
- Drying Strategy: When the cycle finishes, it’s time to sort again. Those short shorts? Definitely hang those up to dry. Use whatever you have—hooks, closet doors, or even your bunk bed! Just remember to be considerate of your two roommates. Yes, it’s going to be tight in that little room, but you can manage. Keep it tidy and avoid leaving food around to deter any unwanted visitors—like ants! And if your roommates are being too noisy, don’t just ignore it; speak up!
- Red Load Repeat: For your red clothes, follow the same washing process as before. But if the machines are limited, you might consider throwing them in with your darks. Just remember, with the tuition we’re paying, there better be enough machines! And don’t forget that you’re a paying customer at that school. If you’re not getting the classes you want, raise your voice! Avoid signing up for wacky courses like “Finnish Folk Art and Technology” or “The Films of Jean-Claude Van Damme.” We can’t afford a five-year plan here. And build rapport with your professors—they’re key to your success!
- Whites Time: Now, for the whites—set the water to hot and repeat the washing steps, this time adding about half a cup of bleach. Just remember, your main job in college is to get that education! Prioritize studying, then have fun. Moderation is crucial. And please, avoid anything too risky. Stick with the classics—good ol’ weed, but just a hit or two is all you need, it’s stronger than you think.
- Final Drying: Now it’s time to dry! Combine any remaining items that can go in the dryer, setting the dial to medium or low heat. Never use high heat unless you want to feel the Freshman 15 creeping up on you. That’s it, easy peasy!
Don’t forget to wash your towels every few days and your sheets every week or so—let’s not push it to three weeks; that’s just plain gross. And maybe grab some dryer sheets while you’re at it. Remember, have fun, but cherish these moments, because you’ll miss them later.
Love, Your Mom
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Summary
This article offers a lighthearted yet practical guide for college students on mastering laundry. From sorting clothes to managing roommates, it covers essential tips for maintaining both cleanliness and sanity in dorm life. Remember, college is about balancing fun with responsibility!
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