We’re Overburdening Our Older Sisters

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When I was just nine, my father departed, leaving my mother to juggle two or even three jobs to support us. I recall her leaving early in the morning, right as I was getting ready for school, and returning home late at night, often after I had gone to bed. With my dad gone and my mother stretched thin, the responsibility of taking care of me, the youngest, fell to my older sister, Sarah, who was seven years my senior. While she was navigating high school and later college, she effectively became a second mother to me. She cooked meals, ensured I brushed my teeth, and attempted—though not always successfully—to help me with my homework. Reflecting on those challenging years, I am genuinely grateful for having a big sister by my side.

Recent research by economists Emma Johnson and Mark Lee of Williams College highlights the significant advantages that having an older sister provides to younger siblings. “From ages 6 to 8, older sisters dedicate nearly half of their free time to caring for younger children,” Johnson shared with NPR. This additional time translates into substantial educational benefits for younger siblings.

The study, which took place in Kenya and was published by The Center For Global Development, involved around 700 toddlers. It assessed various developmental metrics, from vocabulary acquisition to fine motor skills. The findings revealed that, on average, children with older sisters performed better than those with older brothers.

But just how much better are these scores? According to Johnson’s interview with NPR, having an older sister can equate to the educational impact we see when comparing children whose mothers completed secondary school to those whose mothers only finished primary school. This indicates significant developmental gains. The correlation between a mother’s education and a child’s success is well-documented; a 2015 study in The Journal of Marriage and Family confirmed that educated mothers positively influence their children’s academic growth and social behaviors. Thus, the parallels drawn between the influence of an older sister and that of an educated mother are noteworthy.

As I delved deeper into this research, I found myself pondering the effects on the older sisters. Unfortunately, there are challenges. The key takeaway from this study is that the developmental boost for younger siblings stems from the time spent with their older sisters. This time—which can account for nearly 50% of an older sister’s free time—is often filled with learning, reading, and play. While younger siblings gain valuable attention and support, older sisters bear the weight of additional caregiving responsibilities, which can come at a personal cost.

This issue becomes even clearer when examining sick days. A study by Harvard economist Lisa Grayson revealed that when younger siblings are ill, older sisters are significantly more likely to miss school to care for them, unlike older brothers. Reflecting on my childhood, I remember my sister staying home from school to look after me during my illnesses, as our mother had to work.

Although my sister graduated from high school, she never completed her college education, and I sometimes wonder if I played a role in that. Now in her mid-40s with children of her own, she is finally pursuing a degree, while I, being seven years younger, obtained my master’s nearly a decade ago. In essence, she sacrificed her time to nurture and educate me, and now she is only beginning to prioritize her own aspirations.

Ultimately, having an older sister is incredibly beneficial for younger siblings, offering immense educational advantages and personal attention. However, it often comes with sacrifices for the older sister. So, if you have an older sister, take a moment to express your gratitude—she deserves it. And if you’re a parent, pay attention to what your eldest daughter is doing; ensure she isn’t overly burdened with caregiving responsibilities that might hinder her own development.

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In summary, while older sisters play a crucial role in the development of their younger siblings, this often comes at a personal cost to them. It’s essential to recognize their contributions and ensure they receive the support they need.

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