According to my daughter’s birth certificate, I officially became a father in 2010. However, the real transition into parenthood took a bit longer. In fact, I believe it only truly occurred last week.
When we envision what parenting will be like, our minds often conjure up grand moments: choosing names, assembling cribs, enduring labor, changing diapers, playing catch, teaching balance on bicycles, the first day of school, and so forth. While these milestones are indeed significant, I’ve found that countless smaller, everyday occurrences create a tapestry of what it means to be a parent. Every single first—First burp, First smile, First poop, First solid poop, First roll-over, First sit-up, First crawl, First fall, First steps, First words—becomes a moment to cherish.
Eventually, as your social media feeds overflow with pictures, you come to realize that these milestones are not your achievements; they belong to your child. Your milestones, the true markers of your transformation from a mere kid-toter to a bona fide parent, are less conspicuous but equally important. Here are five indicators that signify your full-fledged embrace of parenting.
Five Signs You’ve Become a Parent
- You’re Unfazed by the Mess
Shortly after my little one was born, my partner and I took her to a friend’s house for New Year’s Eve. Amidst the increasingly chaotic conversations, I found myself needing to change her diaper. During a process I had performed countless times in the previous months, I ended up with a little mess on my thumb. It was no big deal—I finished the job, cleaned up, grabbed a drink, and moved on. When you reach a point where the mess doesn’t faze you, you know you’re stepping into parenthood. - Master of Panic
When babies develop fevers, it can feel alarming. Sure, it’s often just part of their bodies learning to fight off illness, but that first fever? Pure panic. You worry like it’s the end of the world. This overwhelming concern for your child, who suddenly means more to you than anything else, is what truly signifies your transition into a parent. Whether it’s a fever, a minor bump, or that moment when they haven’t pooped in a few days, this constant worry? That’s parenting. - The Bragging Rights
It’s inevitable. Once you become a parent, your child becomes your primary focus, and it’s natural to feel immense pride in their achievements. You may have sworn you wouldn’t be that parent who constantly boasts about their kid, but soon enough, you’re sharing stories about the most mundane things, like the size of the mess they made. The moment you see someone’s eyes glaze over as you share yet another adorable photo, you’ll know you’ve crossed into the realm of true parenthood. - The Unofficial Judge
Even I, despite my efforts to be non-judgmental, have found myself critiquing other parents’ choices. It’s human nature to compare and contrast parenting styles, even when we know deep down that every child and situation is unique. As time goes on, your own limited experiences start to convince you that you hold the answers to parenting. The moment you start thinking you’ve got it figured out? You’re well on your way to being a parent. (And when you realize you don’t? That’s when you start becoming a good one.) - “Because I Said So!”
This was my pivotal moment. I had become my own parents. I’ve accepted chaos as a constant, embraced the panic, and partaken in the bragging. But it wasn’t until I told my daughter to clean up her toys and answered her “why” with the classic line, “Because I said so!” that I truly felt the weight of parenthood. This phrase is a rite of passage; only parents utter it. In that moment, I transformed from just a guy with a child to an actual parent.
Child development is a series of “firsts,” but parenting accumulates over time. It wasn’t a single diaper change that marked my journey; it was the countless times I’ve navigated through the mess. Parenting is a gradual process of exhaustion and resilience. It’s less about acquiring skills and more about constructing a life—one filled with challenges, rewards, and yes, a bit of chaos. If you’re lucky, by the time they reach college, you’ll get a little freedom back.
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In summary, becoming a parent isn’t marked by specific events, but rather an accumulation of experiences that shape your identity. It’s a journey of laughter, love, and yes, a bit of mess along the way.
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