A Miscarriage Doesn’t Get Easier Just Because It’s a Secret

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Recently, vloggers Alex and Jamie shared a heartwarming video that captured the moment Alex surprised Jamie with the news of her pregnancy. This joyful announcement quickly went viral, drawing in countless viewers. However, shortly after, they made another video revealing their miscarriage. Among the outpouring of sympathy, a common sentiment emerged: “This is why you should wait to announce your pregnancy.” I respectfully disagree. Experiencing a miscarriage is no less painful when it’s kept under wraps.

The silence surrounding early pregnancy is perplexing. It’s almost as if we believe that by keeping it a secret, we can somehow protect it from misfortune. This notion is, quite frankly, absurd. Some individuals worry that sharing the news too soon creates discomfort if the pregnancy doesn’t progress, but who does that discomfort really benefit?

After enduring three miscarriages and keeping those pregnancies hidden, I made a different choice when I conceived again. I decided to share the news with everyone. Having navigated the heartbreak of loss, I came to understand the importance of support from friends and family. By keeping my pregnancies secret, I deprived myself of the very comfort I needed. My last miscarriage occurred at 12 weeks, and when I opened up to a few friends and coworkers, many expressed confusion, asking, “Why didn’t you tell us?” It was a question I couldn’t answer.

More people are beginning to recognize that there’s no shame in experiencing pregnancy loss or fertility challenges. For instance, tech entrepreneur Mark Zuckerberg recently disclosed his and his wife’s journey to conceive alongside their baby announcement. Alex and Jamie’s early pregnancy reveal provided them a platform to share their miscarriage, potentially offering solace to others in similar situations. They received an avalanche of supportive messages, which can be incredibly healing.

When it comes to sharing pregnancy news, every couple should act according to their comfort level. However, there’s absolutely no shame in choosing to share early. The support of loved ones can be invaluable during difficult times. It’s time to dismantle the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss. It’s not your fault, and there’s nothing wrong with sharing significant life events with those close to you.

If you’re interested in learning more about fertility and the challenges that can arise, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination from Mount Sinai. Additionally, if you’re considering at-home insemination, make sure to explore reputable retailers like Make a Mom, who offer at-home insemination syringe kits. And for further insights into the emotional side of pregnancy loss, visit one of our other blog posts for more information.

In summary, facing a miscarriage is a deeply personal experience that shouldn’t be faced alone. Sharing your journey can help you find the support you need, breaking the cycle of silence and shame that often surrounds pregnancy loss.


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