When the pandemic first hit, my parents were understandably worried. They curtailed their social interactions, attending only the most important family events. As time went on, life began to resume its normal pace. They started going to the grocery store and attended a few of their grandchildren’s little league games, always wearing masks when they went out.
Then, a member of their church small group was placed on hospice care for an illness unrelated to COVID-19. The small group, having met monthly for over three decades, felt compelled to see their friend. With cases and hospitalizations declining, and no one in their circle having been seriously affected by the virus, they decided to host a dinner party. They prepared their new home, having finally downsized after nearly 40 years in their previous residence. It would be their first time welcoming friends into their new space.
My brother, a lawyer, expressed his concerns about the dinner gathering, but there’s only so much you can voice your worries without sounding overly cautious. I didn’t see a problem with it, nor did my youngest brother.
The evening unfolded with a dinner and Bible study, just like the old days before the pandemic disrupted their routines. Wearing masks during a dinner gathering proved challenging. After not seeing one another for over six months, the excitement was palpable, especially since one of their friends, who was gravely ill, could attend. There was little concern over the virus; they were comfortable with their long-time friends, and hugs were exchanged while masks were removed.
However, it wasn’t as safe as they believed. One attendee unknowingly carried the virus. A church worker, she felt fine at the time but soon began to exhibit symptoms. After testing positive for COVID-19, she promptly informed everyone from the dinner party.
I vividly remember receiving a call from my dad while dining out with my family. He told me that he and my mom had been exposed to the virus. I wasn’t overly concerned; while my dad had some underlying health issues, I thought he’d be okay. The next day, I learned he tested positive, while my mom initially did not. But soon after, she began to lose her sense of taste and smell, leading to another test that confirmed they both had contracted the virus.
I bought them a pulse oximeter and reached out to our family physician, as well as other doctor friends. My dad had spent years managing the finances for various medical professionals, so he had plenty of medical advice at his fingertips. On the third day after his diagnosis, he reported a slight cough and mild fever. Mom couldn’t taste or smell anything. Dad reassured me, “If it stays like this, I’ll be fine.”
But it didn’t stay that way. Just a week after his exposure, he had to call for an ambulance due to plummeting oxygen levels. I had just left my parents’ house, where I had been helping with yard work, when I returned to see him being loaded into the ambulance. That was the last time I saw him awake.
Initially, we thought he would return home shortly after receiving oxygen, but the hospital was overwhelmed. It took nearly two days for him to secure a bed outside of the ER. In the beginning, we chatted with him while he sat bored in the hospital. They needed him to lie on his stomach, but a previous hip replacement made that difficult. His condition worsened, and chest X-rays revealed pneumonia caused by the virus. After a week, despite the doctors’ best efforts, he showed no signs of improvement.
They tried every breathing apparatus available and flooded him with oxygen, but his lungs were severely damaged. Eventually, he was moved to the ICU. He struggled to text and could hardly speak on the phone without his oxygen levels dropping dangerously low. We were unable to visit him. When they informed us he might need to be placed on a ventilator, they warned us that it would come with a slim chance of survival.
We gathered via phone for what would be our final goodbyes. It was the hardest moment of my life, saying farewell to my father over a conference call. They allowed my mom to visit him briefly, and for a day, he seemed to rally. He was able to text his grandchildren, who sent him messages of love and encouragement. I spoke to him on the phone, assuring him that he would recover.
The following day, I received a call from a doctor I hadn’t spoken to before. He wanted to discuss putting Dad on a ventilator. I was baffled—he had been improving just the day before. But his oxygen levels had declined overnight. I requested some time to have my mom come up, but the doctor insisted it had to happen immediately to save his life.
We all quickly joined the call with Dad. He couldn’t speak, but we could tell he was acknowledging our presence. We urged him to fight. Racing to the hospital, I hoped we would arrive in time for my mom to see him before they intubated him. Unfortunately, we missed that chance.
What I saw next was something I’ll never forget. He looked like a shadow of himself, in distress, surrounded by frantic medical staff. They were preparing to put him on the ventilator when both of his lungs collapsed. They managed to stabilize him with chest tubes, but we had to leave the hospital and wait for news.
That night, my mom didn’t want to be alone, so we went to dinner together. I drove her home, but as soon as I arrived, the hospital called. They informed me that Dad had no blood pressure and urged us to return immediately. I hurried back to my mom’s house to get her, and she wept all the way to the hospital. When we arrived, my brother had already gotten there and delivered the heartbreaking news: Dad had passed away.
As you plan your family gatherings this year, I urge you to keep this story in mind. I would never impose my views on anyone regarding their holiday plans, but I know that just a month ago, I would have resisted the idea of forgoing our cherished Thanksgiving tradition. This year, however, it will just be my mom and me. A dinner party claimed my father’s life.
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Probable Search Queries:
- Effects of COVID-19 on family gatherings
- Safety precautions for dinner parties during a pandemic
- How to host a safe dinner party
- Impact of COVID-19 on elderly family members
- Personal stories of COVID-19 experiences
Summary:
The narrative recounts a family’s tragic experience after a seemingly harmless dinner party led to the death of the author’s father due to COVID-19. Initially cautious about social interactions, the family gradually resumed activities, leading to a gathering that unknowingly exposed them to the virus. The father, who had underlying health issues, tested positive and faced a rapid decline in health, ultimately leading to his death. The author shares this poignant story to emphasize the importance of caution during holiday gatherings.
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COVID-19, family gatherings, dinner party safety, personal stories, health impact, pandemic experiences