“I can’t stand this family!” my son yells, storming off to his room and trying to slam the door shut. When it doesn’t latch properly, he wails as if he’s been seriously hurt. The only thing truly hurt is his ego — and my ears.
No, I’m not referring to one of my older kids. The one having this dramatic meltdown over my announcement that it’s time to get ready for bed is my youngest. Thankfully, this isn’t my first experience with toddler tantrums. As a parent of four, I know all too well that these little eruptions can still push me to my limits.
Is there something that shifts in a child when they reach about one year old? Do they instantly transition from our delightful angels into little beings who seem determined to test our patience? I suspect mothers have pondered these questions since the dawn of time.
If parenting a toddler makes you want to escape, you are certainly not alone. Even with my experience, the unpredictable behavior can wear on my last nerve. One minute, my child is a bundle of joy, and the next, they’re a whirlwind of emotions.
Most days, I try to roll with the ups and downs, knowing that their big feelings will eventually subside and we can communicate again. But on tougher days, it feels like I’m part of some bizarre parenting experiment, constantly being tested.
What I’ve Learned About Toddlers
Here’s what I’ve learned: Toddlers are naturally curious and that means they’ll make plenty of messes and errors. Tantrums are part of the process, and they often occur because toddlers lack the words to express their needs. The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that many outbursts occur when children can’t articulate what they want or feel.
They recommend that when children exhibit positive behaviors, we respond with smiles and attention. We often overlook the importance of eye contact, a calm tone, and kind words that we expect from them. By modeling appropriate communication, we can improve our interactions.
Purposeful Parenting
The concept of “Purposeful Parenting” encourages us to consider what we wish for our children’s future. If our goal is to raise healthy, happy, and productive adults, we must begin fostering these qualities now. Kids are eager to learn, and it’s our role to guide them. Even with the best intentions, tantrums will still happen, but we can work alongside our toddlers to teach them coping and communication skills.
Purposeful Parenting has six core principles: being protective, personal, progressive, positive, playful, and purposeful.
Being Protective
To be protective, we must meet our children’s basic needs and reduce stressors without being overly permissive. Setting boundaries and having realistic expectations is essential.
Being Personal
Being personal means accepting our children as they are and avoiding labels like “good” or “bad.” Instead, we should focus on naming behaviors and feelings while teaching them how to express themselves when upset. It’s crucial to avoid labeling children based on fleeting actions, as this can be counterproductive.
Progressive Parenting
Progressive parenting involves adjusting our methods as children grow, including how we discipline. Educating ourselves on child development can help us alleviate frustration and manage our expectations.
Positivity
Positivity matters too. Encouraging desired behaviors is far easier than trying to control unwanted ones. The AAP notes that physical punishment only creates fear and teaches children that adults respond to strong emotions with aggression. Encouraging a forgiving atmosphere and praising good decisions can significantly boost a child’s confidence.
Being Playful
Being playful means engaging with our kids in enjoyable activities. Reading together, for example, allows them to lead the activity while receiving our full attention. Though finding time for play can be challenging, it strengthens our bond.
Purposeful Parenting Requires Mindfulness
Purposeful parenting requires mindfulness in recognizing and addressing our child’s needs. We should remain focused on long-term goals while nurturing essential skills like language, social interaction, and emotional regulation.
Understanding that every action stems from a need can help us respond better to our children. Recognizing the underlying reasons for a tantrum—like fatigue, fear, or a desire for attention—can guide our responses. We must ask questions and encourage dialogue rather than resorting to yelling or punitive measures.
Reading this advice might feel daunting. Parenting is a complex and ever-changing task, especially when it comes to maintaining patience with a child prone to tantrums. However, I choose to channel my energy into teaching coping mechanisms and communication skills rather than resisting my child’s natural tendencies.
Additional Resources
For more insights, check out this other blog post on parenting challenges. Additionally, Make a Mom provides excellent resources on fertility journeys. You can also visit Facts About Fertility for more information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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Summary
Parenting toddlers can be an overwhelming yet rewarding experience. Understanding their behavior, practicing purposeful parenting, and fostering open communication can help navigate the challenges of tantrums and emotional outbursts. By setting boundaries, being present, and modeling appropriate behaviors, parents can significantly improve their interactions with their little ones.