As parents, one of the key principles we often hear is to avoid comparing our children to others. It’s a lesson I know well, yet I find myself struggling with it regularly. I adore my kids for who they are, but like many parents, I often fret over their well-being. I worry about their emotional health, their social interactions, and whether they’re keeping pace with their peers.
I understand that facing challenges is essential for children to grow into resilient adults. Yet, as a mom, I can’t help but feel anxious. This anxiety sometimes leads me to compare my kids to others, particularly when I see them struggling with skills that seem so easy for their peers.
For instance, my two older children are very much into academics. They love reading, writing, and drawing, and they excelled in these areas before even starting kindergarten. I, too, was a bookworm as a child who eventually became an English teacher and a writer. We share a bond over our love for literature, creating a little trio of book lovers in our household.
Then there’s my youngest, whom we fondly refer to as our “little explorer.” He shows little interest in reading and has an aversion to writing that’s almost comical. His favorite activities involve recess, lunch, and gym class, and he often struggles to stay seated long enough to write even a few letters.
Naturally, I worried when he didn’t write like his older siblings. At age four, even getting him to hold a pencil was a battle that sometimes required candy as motivation. By the time he entered kindergarten, he still had challenges, often leaving letters out of his name because he simply ran out of steam.
In hindsight, I wish I had paused and reassured myself that it’s completely normal for many kids his age to struggle with writing. A recent post from Perth Children’s Occupational Therapy highlights that it’s typical for children aged three to five to find writing difficult. Surprisingly, many kids can’t form an X until nearly age five and a triangle until after that. Yet, we often expect them to write complex letters long before they’re developmentally ready!
An article from Empowered Parents reinforces that during the preschool years, children are not yet physically or developmentally prepared to write. They may begin to play with letters but should not be pressured to form them correctly. This is vital to remember, especially since many young children find writing daunting due to their still-developing reading skills.
It’s crucial to expose our little ones to print and letters in playful ways—think books, road signs, and even cereal boxes. We can model letter formation while allowing them to explore letters through fun activities like playing with magnetic letters.
Now, my son is seven and in second grade. He can read and write, though he still prefers physical activities. It’s essential to celebrate his progress without dwelling on comparisons. I wish I could tell my past self to relax and appreciate his unique qualities and milestones, rather than stressing over his writing skills. He may not have been the fastest writer, but at four, he had other remarkable talents, like throwing a baseball with precision and cracking jokes.
For more insights on this topic, check out our other post here, as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested in tools for this journey, you can find helpful information at Make a Mom.
Summary
It’s perfectly normal for pre-kindergarten children to struggle with writing. Developmentally, many kids aged three to five are not ready to write. Rather than stressing about comparisons, parents should focus on providing supportive, playful learning experiences that encourage literacy without pressure.
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