I can honestly say this pandemic has been incredibly challenging, particularly for our kids. I have a 9-year-old and a 14-year-old. My teenager should be spending weekends with his friends—exploring the town, having long chats, and catching movies together. Meanwhile, my younger child should be enjoying after-school playdates, attending birthday parties, and eagerly asking to sleep over at a friend’s house.
Instead, both of my boys haven’t played with another child in person since March, and I don’t foresee that changing until the situation improves.
Fortunately, my kids get along reasonably well—considering they’re two spirited brothers, which is a silver lining. They can spend hours playing video games, sharing inside jokes, and occasionally bickering. So, they’re not completely deprived of interaction. However, with nearly a six-year age gap, they both need social connections with peers their own age. It’s not typical for them to live this way, and it pains me to think of what their social lives are missing out on.
Sure, they are coping as best as they can, but there are limits. My teenager engages in live gaming sessions with his close friends and has even made new acquaintances through our local youth center’s online platform. He participated in a virtual play over the summer and is set to perform again this winter. I can often hear his laughter from his room as he chats with friends, but it’s not the teenage experience I envisioned for him.
I recall how much I craved my friends’ company at that age. While phone calls were a start, they often led to meetups. There was nothing quite like a sleepover with your best friend, staying up late to talk, or walking home from the library at twilight, discussing everything from movies to life’s mysteries.
My heart aches thinking of what my son is missing. I worry even more for my younger child. Virtual playdates have not proven effective for him, although I remain hopeful. Initially, he was against video chat interactions, but he’s slowly warmed up to the idea. Still, it’s challenging to find other kids for him to connect with, and the few virtual gatherings he has had haven’t been fulfilling.
I am genuinely concerned about how this pandemic is impacting his emotional growth. I hope he finds adequate connection with family, his online teacher, and classmates. I do see him engaging with peers in his online classes, and I hold out hope that these interactions could lead to more enjoyable virtual socializing.
Despite my concerns, playdates are not in the cards for my kids anytime soon. You may wonder why I’m being so strict. The pandemic is still rampant across the country. We are witnessing record COVID-19 cases, and it’s my responsibility to avoid any actions that could contribute to the spread of the virus.
My family has a moral obligation to protect others right now; their social desires must take a backseat. My children can afford to miss a season or even a year of socialization to safeguard the vulnerable among us and help slow the virus. They understand this, and I am teaching them an important lesson about kindness and morality.
They are learning that sometimes doing the right thing means sacrificing personal comfort. They are also gaining resilience and adaptability—valuable lessons for life.
Still, I worry about my family contracting the virus. While children generally fare better than adults with COVID-19, it’s crucial to note that some children have died, many of whom had underlying conditions. Both of my kids have asthma. My youngest experienced a severe asthma attack that required emergency treatment about a year ago, and he could have been in grave danger without immediate care.
I refuse to risk exposing my children to a respiratory illness that primarily affects the lungs. The potential consequences are simply too significant to ignore. I wouldn’t want this for any member of my family, especially considering the possibility of long-term health issues.
Playdates are not worth the risk. While I recognize there might be safer ways to facilitate them—perhaps meeting outside with masks and social distancing—I struggle to see how that would be enjoyable for my kids. I’ve suggested such arrangements, but they’ve shown little interest.
Moreover, how can I ensure the other child will comply with safety measures? Kids aren’t always great at maintaining social distance or wearing masks without close supervision. Hovering over them while they play isn’t the essence of socializing they’re seeking.
Until the risk of COVID-19 decreases significantly—ideally with a vaccine or effective treatment—we will refrain from playdates, even if that means waiting for another season or two. We will be alright. Despite the challenges, my kids are showing remarkable strength and resilience, which makes me proud.
One day, this pandemic will end, and their social lives will flourish again. I look forward to ordering pizzas for my son and his friends as they gather around our dining table, sharing jokes and discussing video games. I envision my younger son visiting his neighbor again, returning home with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
I eagerly anticipate those days, hoping that when my children resume their friendships, they will appreciate the joy of laughter and the simple pleasures of childhood even more.
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Summary:
In light of the ongoing pandemic, a mother reflects on the impact of social isolation on her two sons, ages 9 and 14. She emphasizes the importance of health and safety over social interaction, explaining that her children will not be having playdates until the situation improves significantly. She expresses concern for their emotional development but finds solace in their resilience during these challenging times.