The Pandemic’s Impact on Trans and Non-Binary Parents: We Need to Be Included in the Discussion

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As we near a full year of navigating the effects of a global pandemic, it’s evident that countless individuals have faced significant challenges. Marginalized communities, particularly Black and queer individuals, have borne a disproportionate burden from COVID-19. Parents, too, have felt the strain. However, discussions surrounding the pandemic often hinge on the experiences of binary, heterosexual, and cisgender parents, sidelining the voices of many who don’t fit neatly into these categories.

While it’s clear that mothers are overwhelmed and stressed, it’s crucial to ask: compared to whom? How do we define terms like mother, father, or parent? Are we truly considering the perspectives of the queer community in these conversations, or only our own?

The prevailing narrative tends to frame straight and cisgender individuals as the standard, leading to the perception that fathers are less affected than mothers and their children. However, the reality is that many others are experiencing significant challenges, including transgender dads and non-binary parents, who often face greater hurdles without the same level of support and recognition.

As a non-binary parent, I frequently find myself excluded from parenting dialogues. The struggle to carve out a space where I am acknowledged and respected is ongoing. Being a non-biological parent complicates matters further, as society tends to seek straightforward classifications in parenting roles. This desire for categorization often leads to uncomfortable questions about how I became a parent or what my children call me, and I frequently encounter assumptions that I have a wife.

The pandemic has amplified existing inequalities, and while it’s undeniable that cisgender women have had to make substantial sacrifices, it’s equally critical to highlight the experiences of transgender dads and non-binary parents who are shouldering the same responsibilities with less recognition. We shouldn’t have to fight for our place at the table, especially when the conversation centers around parenting during such a challenging time.

The current political climate adds another layer of complexity, with ongoing efforts to roll back rights for transgender individuals. The rise in anti-LGBTQ sentiment, coupled with higher rates of poverty and mental health challenges within queer communities, further exacerbates the struggles we face as parents.

I’m not seeking sympathy; I simply want to ensure that transgender and non-binary parents are included in discussions about parenting during the pandemic. We need a shift in how we frame these conversations to acknowledge our existence and experiences. Instead of articles that merely highlight the difficulties, I seek those that validate our struggles and promote inclusivity in language.

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In summary, the pandemic has profoundly impacted all parents, yet discussions often overlook transgender and non-binary individuals. Our experiences, struggles, and needs deserve to be included in the broader narrative of parenting during these trying times.

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