Lately, I’ve been taking on as much work as possible in preparation for the upcoming holidays. As a single parent, it’s crucial for me to ensure my children have a joyful Christmas while also allowing myself some time off when the festivities arrive. My days start early, enabling me to complete a substantial amount of work before my kids require assistance with their school assignments.
In between work breaks, I find myself emptying the dishwasher, ordering groceries, and baking the cookies my son has been eagerly requesting. Just last week, I had to pause a conference call because my son injured his thumb, and I thought he might need stitches. My daughter has also been feeling down, spending several afternoons in her room in tears. I kept checking on her, concerned and wanting to ensure she had someone to confide in.
Some days blend into one another, and I often forget to take breaks to eat, which ultimately backfires as I end up compensating for it later. I recognize that if I don’t stay focused and complete my tasks, I’ll be up late into the night trying to catch up, knowing that another busy day will greet me at dawn.
I once identified as a stay-at-home mom. Even when I began working part-time from home, I continued to label myself a SAHM when people inquired about my role. If someone pointed out, “But you’re a writer,” I’d downplay it by saying, “Yes, but it’s just part-time.”
After my divorce, I worked hard to build a full-time career. I couldn’t afford any help, yet my family still expected me to handle everything as before. With three young children and a household to manage alone, I became a full-time work-from-home mom.
There’s a substantial difference, and it’s worth discussing — there’s no shame in acknowledging it.
Working from home has been rewarding, fulfilling, and (mostly) convenient, significantly boosting my self-esteem. I feel fortunate to have this opportunity, especially given the current circumstances. However, it’s undeniably more challenging than being a stay-at-home mom, particularly now as many of us juggle remote learning and our work responsibilities simultaneously.
This isn’t a competition. I’ve experienced both sides, and managing a job alongside caring for children at home is far more complex than solely being a caregiver (which is undoubtedly demanding on its own).
When your home doubles as your office, distractions abound. You’ll notice the overflowing trash can, the laundry piles, and the dirty dishes that need attention. This makes it difficult to compartmentalize your life. Even if you schedule times for your kids to approach you or hire help, you’re still physically present, which your children are acutely aware of. As a result, they often need you, regardless of your work commitments.
Maximizing your productive hours (for me, it’s in the mornings after working out) can be challenging due to unexpected interruptions. A few weeks ago, my daughter fell ill, and prior to that, my son struggled with a finance paper that needed my assistance.
Being a work-from-home mom requires you to master the art of juggling. I’m not even talking about achieving balance here; children and life’s demands have no concept of balance, and that idea gets tossed aside daily.
As a work-from-home mom, you know how to pull yourself together for a meeting, only to feel overwhelmed once you’re no longer “on” because chaos can erupt in minutes. You become acutely aware of everything on your plate — your job, the mess, family responsibilities, dinner prep, and which child is off task — since it’s all right in front of you.
Being a work-from-home mom means you quickly become overstimulated by knocks at the door or accidents, such as my son cutting his thumb, which can derail your day.
You remain the go-to person for your kids and others around you, who don’t fully grasp why you can’t drop everything to help if you’re at home. Trust me, I have to remind my three kids daily to keep it down so I can work or that I can’t take them out for lunch on a whim or allow them to hog the WiFi while I’m trying to meet deadlines.
Despite your best efforts to separate work and home life, there are countless moments when it feels impossible. You’re juggling everything and doing your best as both a professional and a mother.
I genuinely love what I do and wouldn’t trade my financial independence for anything at this stage in my life. Yet, it’s a serious challenge, especially for divorced or solo parents. Each day begins with uncertainty about how your workday will unfold. You simply know there’s a mountain of tasks to tackle, along with loved ones needing your attention, and you must figure it out.
Because that’s what work-from-home moms do.
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In summary, transitioning from being a stay-at-home mom to a work-from-home mom brings significant changes in responsibilities and challenges. This dual role requires a delicate balance and the ability to juggle various tasks while ensuring that both work and family needs are met.