As a 35-year-old woman, my closet tells a story filled with a variety of sizes, from 4 to 14. We all know the struggle. What was once a smooth silhouette now has its share of imperfections. The backs of my legs are etched with varicose veins, low-rise jeans reveal a bit too much, and low-cut tops showcase stretch marks that resemble crepe paper.
Fortunately, I’ve moved beyond the self-doubt that often accompanies the transition to a “mom bod.” Instead, I’m focusing on how to accentuate, support, and subtly flatter my figure to make the most of what I have—because let’s face it, things aren’t going to magically improve. There’s no reason to waste time lamenting over my past self or wishing I could fit into juniors’ sizes again. I proudly wear WOMEN’S-SIZED jeans now.
Despite being savvy enough to understand how to dress for my body, I still find myself bewildered every time I step into a store. I enter, take a moment to gather my thoughts, and head to the right section (definitely not juniors), but then the confusion hits. Everything feels either too frumpy or too risqué, and I often feel like I’ve already experienced these trends before—be it in middle school (seriously, stonewashed jeans?!) or high school (flannel is not making a comeback, is it?!) or even college (hello, midriff tops).
After sifting through countless racks, I finally gather a few items that seem promising and head to the fitting room.
There are few experiences in a woman’s life more humbling than those fitting rooms. I’ve struggled with countless dresses and swimsuits, feeling either disappointment or exhilaration at the reflection staring back at me. But nothing prepared me for the moment I recently faced in front of a three-way mirror, questioning aloud, “Is this a shirt? No, it’s too long. Is it a dress? No, it’s too short. Is it a tunic? Is this bohemian or trashy? What on earth is this?!”
And that was the moment I truly felt my age.
Even so, I genuinely liked the garment, whatever it was, and decided to purchase it. As I approached the department store register, the two young cashiers flashed me bright smiles.
“What do you think this is?” I asked, still puzzled.
They exchanged glances, clearly caught off guard.
“It’s a dress,” one of them declared.
“Are you sure? It seems a bit short,” I replied.
One nodded enthusiastically. “Definitely a dress. But, you could wear jeggings underneath if that makes you more comfortable…though I wouldn’t.”
That’s when my age became glaringly obvious to them. While I may dress and carry myself like I’m still in my twenties, when it comes to my backside showing, I draw the line. Who in their right mind would feel good wearing something that’s basically a long shirt?
“Absolutely, I’m uncomfortable! If I bent over, everyone would see everything. I’m going to pretend it’s a shirt and buy it because, honestly, it’s cute.”
Silence.
“I’m old,” I admitted.
Silence.
“I’m 35 and have three kids at home.”
The lightbulb finally clicked for them. “Wow,” they said. “You look amazing for having three kids!”
“Thanks?” I replied, a bit taken aback.
“Here’s your receipt, ma’am. Have a great day!” They smiled politely, but that single word hit me like a brick—“ma’am.”
Damn, I really am getting old.
If you find yourself struggling with similar feelings, know you’re not alone in this fashion conundrum. For more relatable stories, check out our other blog post here. And if you’re considering expanding your family, reputable online retailers like Make a Mom offer at-home insemination kits to help you along the journey. For more information on fertility, you can refer to the CDC’s resources.
Summary
Navigating fashion as a 35-year-old mom can be confusing, especially when trying to balance personal style with comfort and age-appropriateness. Embracing one’s body and finding clothing that flatters is essential, while also acknowledging the inevitable changes that come with age. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you.
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