I’m not the ideal mom. To simply call myself a mom without the prefix “not-so-great” wouldn’t do justice to the challenges many mothers face. I genuinely believe in nurturing and providing for my children unconditionally, embracing the sacrifices that come with motherhood. However, in the reality of my day-to-day life, I often find myself falling short of these ideals. Hence, I label myself as a not-so-great mom.
This isn’t a trendy statement meant to garner sympathy. I’m candid about my struggles, but when it comes to my children, the self-forgiveness eludes me. I embody contradictions.
Music and Motherhood
Take music, for instance: I firmly believe that introducing children to music early on is vital for their creative growth. Yet, in practice, I often fail to provide them with the ideal musical environment. Instead, I might be blasting Tupac’s lyrics in the carpool lane. Remind me, how does it start again?
“First off, forget your girl in the crew you claim,
West side when we ride, equipped with game.”
Sure, those lyrics might outshine Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and give the Frozen soundtrack a run for its money.
Realities of Parenting
I enjoy the occasional drink—it doesn’t necessarily define my lifestyle. But let’s be real: there are times I down a few too many, even slurring my way through bedtime stories like Goodnight Moon.
I raise my voice over trivial matters. “Put your toys away! Stop hitting your sister! Go to bed!” Ironically, I often end up yelling at them for yelling.
Screen time? Well, let’s just say the TV often babysits my kids while I catch up on calls, prepare meals, or enjoy a moment of silence in the bathroom—where I conveniently check my social media, all while exclaiming, “Mommy’s busy!”
I’m conscious of health risks like skin cancer, yet I frequently forget sunscreen. I despise it when my kids fall ill, but somehow, I misplace the hand sanitizer… again.
Dessert is a daily affair, sometimes even twice! And yes, we indulge in McDonald’s Happy Meals. I might use colorful language in front of my kids—only to hear them mimic my words later without any hesitation.
I often promise my kids “five more minutes” to play or watch their magic shows—only to find that those minutes stretch into an hour or more.
The Complexity of Motherhood
I’ve experienced the complexity of motherhood firsthand. I’ve made choices that some might judge, including terminating a pregnancy. Growing up, I was bombarded with the notion that motherhood was a flawless journey. For me, the reality was daunting. My first pregnancy opened my eyes to the financial and emotional burdens that came with being a mother, and I knew I wasn’t ready for that.
After getting married, I found myself pregnant again. The fear hit me hard; I felt just as terrified as I did during my first pregnancy. I never envisioned myself as a mother—believing it would shatter my aspirations, constrain my freedom, and redefine my identity.
The arrival of my children felt like an explosion—one that disassembled my previous self. Early motherhood felt overwhelming, and I often found myself in tears, struggling to connect with my babies. I longed for a deep, passionate love, but it often felt more like an obligation.
Questions plagued me: What does it mean to be a mother? Why can’t I embrace motherhood?
I compared my parenting to that of others—moms at storytime or those in my community. The guilt of not measuring up was suffocating.
Embracing Imperfection
However, I eventually realized that being a “bad” mom doesn’t equate to being a failure. I’m learning that imperfections are part of the journey. I’m not perfect, but I’m present.
I’m a mom because I care for my children, shower them with affection, read bedtime stories, and ensure they eat their fruits and veggies. I guide them toward body acceptance and engage them in discussions about diversity and equality. I sign them up for activities but recognize the importance of balance.
I may not always catch them when they fall, but I teach them manners and respect for themselves and others. I know there are days I could strive harder, but I’d rather be an imperfect mom than not be a mom at all.
If you’re navigating similar challenges, know that you’re not alone. For more insights into motherhood, you can check out this blog post on Intracervical Insemination. For those considering home insemination, Cryobaby’s home insemination syringe kit is a reputable option. And for valuable information on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent resources.
In summary, while I may self-identify as a not-so-great mom, I embrace my role with all its imperfections. Motherhood is a journey filled with challenges, but it’s also one of love, growth, and discovery.
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