The other day, while scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon a post that read, “If you’re someone who would call the police over social distancing violations, our friendship is over.” Another acquaintance shared a story about someone yelling at her from a car because her children were playing outside in their own backyard without any friends over.
It’s clear that our perspectives on handling COVID-19—be it social distancing, what counts as essential, or the necessity of wearing masks—are creating divisions among us. A quick glance at social media confirms this reality. While you can easily unfriend or block people online, dealing with a close friend—whether a lifelong companion or someone you recently bonded with—who holds a starkly different viewpoint on this pandemic is much more complicated.
You may have shared countless experiences, and even navigated past disagreements about topics like politics or parenting styles, but this situation feels much more personal. Regardless of where you stand, there’s a sense of threat looming. Some feel endangered, fearing for their health or that of their loved ones because others aren’t taking social distancing seriously. They’re frustrated and desperate for a sense of safety. Meanwhile, others perceive their personal freedoms as being at risk and believe the entire situation is exaggerated, leading them to protest, refuse masks, and host gatherings.
I’ve come to realize that true friendship is tested in times of crisis, like a global pandemic. I have a dear friend, Anna, whose views are breaking my heart. She insists that things aren’t as dire as they seem, claiming that “the ventilators are what’s really killing COVID-19 patients.” Keep in mind, Anna lives in a major city where the virus has severely impacted the community.
Our friendship is undeniably strained. What used to be check-ins has turned into her relentless attempts to change my perspective, despite my focus being on keeping my family safe and financially stable. Her messages, instead of uplifting, leave me feeling anxious and frustrated. I’ve communicated that I can only handle a limited amount of news daily to keep my anxiety in check.
Advice from Dr. Sarah Thompson
Dr. Sarah Thompson, a licensed psychologist, offers some valuable advice on navigating friendships during these challenging times. She emphasizes that our beliefs shape our actions, and that choosing to stay socially distant, especially from loved ones, is a struggle for many. As summer approaches, the urge to reconnect socially may clash with ongoing health concerns. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own trusted sources of information, which can lead to differing behaviors.
If you’re not ready to resume social interactions just because others are, it’s essential to stand firm in your feelings without engaging in arguments. Dr. Thompson suggests we prepare for more social activities in the coming weeks, encouraging open discussions about comfort levels with friends and family.
Being honest is key. It’s perfectly okay to express that you won’t attend gatherings or need to know someone’s recent interactions before feeling comfortable meeting them. When emotions run high, Dr. Thompson advises against texting, as it can lead to misunderstandings. Instead, picking up the phone for discussions can help convey feelings more clearly.
Understanding your own emotions before conversations can also help manage potential triggers and lead to calmer discussions. Empathy and compassion are critical during this heightened state of alertness.
Should You End Friendships?
A pressing question for many is whether to end friendships with those who don’t share the same views on COVID-19. Dr. Thompson believes you don’t have to, unless you choose to. Instead, aim for constructive dialogue that minimizes conflict. You might say something like, “I’m going to think about your invitation for the next gathering. For now, we’ll be staying home.” If they push back, you can clarify that your concerns extend to their safety as well.
Ultimately, we control our own responses. This is a new reality for everyone, and it’s up to us to set boundaries regarding who we see and when. If friends are dismissing your concerns, remind them that you are making the best choices for your family based on the information you have. If communication continues to cause stress, it might be wise to pause the friendship for now or even let it go entirely. The last thing we need is another emotional battle.
For more information on navigating these complexities, consider checking out resources like the CDC’s pregnancy and health guidance.
Summary
Navigating friendships during COVID-19 can be challenging, especially when beliefs about safety diverge. It’s crucial to recognize and respect personal boundaries while maintaining open lines of communication. Empathy and understanding can help manage difficult conversations, and if friendships become too strained, it may be worth reevaluating their place in our lives.