In a recent publication by Home Insemination Kit, Oliver Reed opens up about his changing relationship with his parent, Caitlin Reed. This essay is included in the anthology To Me, He Was Just Dad, compiled by Joshua David Stein and the editorial team at Home Insemination Kit.
Caitlin Reed: A Multifaceted Life
Caitlin Reed, a former Olympic athlete and reality television personality, initially garnered fame during the 1976 Summer Olympics, where she triumphed in the decathlon, earning the title of “the world’s greatest athlete.” After retiring from competitive sports, she transitioned into business and entrepreneurship. Caitlin has been married three times, the last being to Kris Reed, with whom she co-starred in a popular reality show. Caitlin has six children: Max, Lily, Oliver, Jamie, Kelly, and Zoe.
Oliver’s Candid Reflections
In his candid essay, Oliver reflects on the complexities of his relationship with his father, who spent the first sixty-five years of her life avoiding the question, “How are you doing?” This avoidance stemmed from deeper struggles that made it difficult for Oliver to connect with her. Vulnerability is a crucial aspect of building relationships, yet his father’s reluctance to share her feelings created distance between them for much of Oliver’s upbringing.
Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
As the first child of Caitlin and the third child of her marriages, Oliver lived with his father, his brother Jamie, and their mother in a charming craftsman home in Malibu. However, his memories of this time are scarce, primarily due to his parents’ divorce when he was only four. The decision to separate was influenced by Caitlin’s desire to transition, a topic Oliver was too young to fully understand at the time.
Some childhood memories did surface later, such as a playful interaction involving a surgical procedure Caitlin had undergone. He recalls being told not to touch her ears post-surgery, a moment that hinted at the significant changes Caitlin was experiencing. When he inquired about Caitlin’s new appearance, he was told it was due to changes in her body, not realizing the extent of the transformation Caitlin was undergoing.
While both parents tried to shield Oliver and his brother from their marital strife, the tension was palpable. They sought therapy but ultimately chose to divorce. Following the split, Caitlin began dating Kris Reed, which complicated Oliver’s understanding of his family dynamics. Despite efforts to maintain a positive relationship, the reality of their situation left Oliver with limited contact with his father during his formative years.
Memories of a Changing Relationship
Most of Oliver’s memories of Caitlin are from before he turned eight. He remembers fun moments, such as a competitive race to the top of sand dunes and a memorable incident where Caitlin challenged him to hit a tree with a baseball to reduce his debt for a bike she had bought him. After Caitlin married Kris, family interactions felt more like business than a genuine connection, and Oliver distanced himself during his teenage years.
However, in his twenties, as Caitlin’s daughters with Kris entered their teenage years, a new chapter in their relationship began. Caitlin sought connection, and they bonded over shared activities like working on cars and flying remote-controlled airplanes. Despite this rekindling of their bond, Oliver sensed Caitlin still maintained a certain level of guard.
A New Understanding
When Caitlin finally decided to transition, Oliver was the first to know. Although he had been aware of the situation for years, hearing it directly from Caitlin brought him joy. He felt proud that she was embracing her true self after such a long struggle. Oliver wishes Caitlin had transitioned sooner, believing it would have fostered a stronger father-son relationship early on.
Now, they are making up for lost time, communicating almost daily, with Caitlin often asking, “How are you doing?” This evolution in their relationship reflects a newfound openness and connection.
Further Reading and Resources
For those interested in similar stories, you may want to check out this other blog post or explore resources like this excellent guide on donor insemination. Additionally, if you’re considering a fertility journey, Make a Mom offers valuable insights.
Conclusion
In summary, Oliver Reed’s essay captures the complexities of his relationship with Caitlin Reed, shedding light on the struggles and breakthroughs they experienced together. As they move forward, their bond strengthens through newfound communication and understanding.