For the past few weeks, my child has been asking when they can reconnect with their friends. “Can I go for a bike ride with them?” they ask, sensing the excitement in the air. It feels unfair, especially since it seems like everyone else is getting together. But my answer remains the same: “I understand it’s frustrating, but no, not yet.”
This decision hasn’t come easily. I’ve had my doubts, and I’ve questioned my choice more than once. However, for the time being, the answer is a firm “no” when it comes to hanging out with friends.
Every family faces unique circumstances that influence their decisions. Evaluating risks and benefits involves many factors, and often, a reliance on gut feelings plays a significant role. For me, my instincts are urging me to proceed with caution. There’s no need to rush back into social gatherings.
Other parents may approach this situation differently, influenced by their own priorities and views on the seriousness of COVID-19. Personally, I believe we need to take this situation very seriously.
I’ve been preparing my child for this reality. For weeks, I’ve emphasized that while some states are reopening, it doesn’t mean we have to follow suit. I’ve explained that just because something is possible doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for us. We’re making decisions based on our family’s specific situation, which is crucial.
However, for a teen, no amount of preparation can lessen the sting of missing out. It doesn’t help when they see peers riding bikes without masks right outside our home. The feelings of exclusion can be overwhelming. “I’m the only one who can’t hang out!” they lament repeatedly.
First off, that’s simply not true. They aren’t the only ones whose parents are being cautious during this time. They are not “the only one” who can’t stay out late or attend parties where alcohol is present. While I empathize, I also remind them that these feelings of isolation don’t disappear as we grow older. Learning to navigate these emotions is essential, and trusting that true friends will remain supportive is even more important.
Kids often require more than just reassurances. It’s vital to explain the reasoning behind our decisions, whether it’s about a new cell phone or social interactions during a pandemic. I’ve done my best to clarify what we know about COVID-19, the risks involved, and how we aim to minimize those risks. I’ve shared my own anxieties and explained that we have vulnerable family members to consider. I’ve reassured them that there will be a time for socializing, just not right now.
The bottom line is, I’m sorry, but they can’t hang out with friends just yet, regardless of how it seems to them.
Am I being too strict with my pandemic guidelines? Some may think so, while others might argue I’m not strict enough. This gray area is challenging for everyone as we navigate life post-lockdown, but it’s not unique to this situation; it’s a common part of parenting.
Ultimately, I believe my child grasps the reason behind my decisions. They may be upset, but they understand that these choices are made for their safety and the well-being of others. As the saying goes, this too shall pass. Eventually, they will reunite with friends, return to school, and enjoy sleepovers. My hope is that through this experience, they will develop resilience against feelings of exclusion. They will learn the importance of caring for others, trusting their instincts, and making tough choices. While the pandemic will eventually conclude, the lessons learned will hopefully endure.
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In summary, while it’s tough for kids to cope with missing out on social gatherings, understanding the reasons behind parental decisions can foster resilience. The lessons learned during this pandemic can equip them to handle life’s challenges with greater ease.