Recently, I shared a piece titled, “Why I Will Never Walk Alone,” and the outpouring of thoughtful responses has truly touched me. It’s been a challenging week—though that should be clear—yet your heartfelt messages have bolstered my faith in humanity. I deeply appreciate your kindness.
After the article was published, I received an overwhelming number of inquiries, and while I can’t respond to each one individually, I’ve identified some recurring themes. Therefore, I’m tackling the seven most frequently asked questions below, sharing my perspective on each.
If you haven’t had a chance to read “Why I Will Never Walk Alone”, I encourage you to do so first. Once you’ve done that, feel free to explore the questions below or skip ahead to the one that resonates with you. There’s much to discuss, so let’s dive in:
1. “If you find your neighborhood so frightening, why not just relocate?”
To clarify, I never labeled my neighborhood as “frightening”—it’s quite similar to neighborhoods across America. What I did express is my apprehension about walking alone in my area. I cherish my neighbors and have formed personal friendships with many of them. However, living in a sprawling city like Los Angeles means I don’t know everyone within a few blocks.
On multiple occasions, while walking my dog, I’ve seen individuals rush across the street to avoid passing me, or observed people peering through windows with their phones out. I’m merely seeking fresh air, not posing a threat. Such experiences are prevalent among Black men, and it’s hard to articulate the constant strain of these “death by a thousand paper cuts.” As a Highly Sensitive Person, it becomes utterly exhausting and disheartening.
This is especially true when walking alone. While accompanied by my dog or daughters, I still face scrutiny, but the fear escalates when I’m alone. If I were to take a walk in unfamiliar streets, I could easily become a target for an overly vigilant homeowner or police officer. My foremost goal is to always be present for my family, and I won’t risk that.
2. “When I hear ‘Black Lives Matter,’ I respond with ‘All Lives Matter.’ What’s the issue with that?”
Consider this analogy: if I broke my ankle while playing basketball and sought medical help, and the doctor said, “All bones matter,” that would be dismissive and unhelpful, right? Yes, all bones are significant, but in that moment, my ankle requires immediate attention.
The same principle applies here: all lives can’t matter until Black lives are acknowledged and valued.
3. “I understand the frustration, but how does rioting help the cause?”
That’s a valid question. Let’s unpack it. There’s a disturbing pattern of unarmed Black individuals being killed by police. Drawing from my own model of outrage:
- Level 1: Trusting authorities to hold accountable those who harm unarmed Black people (ineffective).
- Level 2: Peacefully marching to express our discontent (also ineffective).
- Level 3: Athletes kneeling during the national anthem to protest police brutality—effective in gaining attention, but the focus quickly shifted away from the issue.
- Level 4: Rioting—a culmination of frustration when peaceful measures fail.
This doesn’t justify rioting, but it highlights the depths of outrage when voices are consistently ignored. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “a riot is the language of the unheard.”
4. “I consider myself colorblind and don’t see race. What’s wrong with that?”
This perspective is problematic. I’m not addressing those with visual impairments; I mean those who see colorblindness as a virtue. Ignoring race and culture means ignoring a significant part of people’s identities. I am proud of my heritage, and recognizing our differences allows for deeper connections and understanding.
5. “What is white privilege, and what can I do that you cannot?”
Here’s a recent example: a neighbor asked me to collect some packages while he was away. The thought of retrieving packages from a house that isn’t mine—especially while wearing a mask—was daunting. As a white man, you might not think twice about such a request, but I must consider potential repercussions daily. White privilege doesn’t negate your struggles; it simply means your skin color doesn’t add to them.
6. “Why do Black people express outrage over police violence but not over Black-on-Black crime?”
This question often lacks sincerity. While it’s true that a high percentage of Black murder victims are killed by other Black individuals, similar statistics exist for white victims. This leads to three key points:
- Most violent crimes are intra-racial, making comparisons irrelevant.
- Black individuals face prosecution for crimes committed among themselves, unlike the police officers who escape accountability for killing unarmed Black people.
- There are countless initiatives and activism aimed at reducing violence in communities, but these efforts rarely receive media attention.
7. “I’m exhausted by the outrage over a few bad cops. Where’s the outrage over Black-on-Black crime?”
This question typically reflects a lack of understanding. The majority of violent crime occurs within racial groups, making such comparisons misleading. Moreover, Black communities are actively engaged in addressing these issues, yet these efforts often go unnoticed.
In summary, the questions surrounding racism are complex and require thoughtful engagement. Acknowledging our differences, understanding the impact of privilege, and recognizing the frustrations of marginalized communities are crucial steps toward creating a more just society. For further insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this informative piece.