Parenting
This morning, just before my partner, Jake, left for work, he pulled me into a warm embrace. I leaned into him, feeling drained even though the day had just begun, and expressed my wish that he could be home more often.
I do my best to keep complaints about his hectic work schedule at bay. Grumbling about how he’s hardly ever around only adds to the stress of an already challenging situation. If I let myself indulge in those negative thoughts, it spirals into self-pity and resentment—neither of which benefit anyone. Jake doesn’t relish working 60-70 hours a week; he’s simply doing what he must to support our family, just as I am. But let’s face it—it’s tough. There are moments when I want to scream, “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE KIDS!” as I sip my morning coffee.
I often feel exhausted, ill-equipped, and overwhelmed. I run out of ideas for meals and discipline strategies and sometimes lose my cool. I worry that I’m not the mother my children need or deserve. Financial constraints mean we can’t always afford a babysitter or even basic groceries. We just keep moving forward.
Sometimes I wish I had pursued a more lucrative career than Communications. I sometimes daydream about Jake being from a wealthy family. But that’s not our reality; we met while working at a grocery store. The truth is, trust fund kids don’t work at grocery stores, and we didn’t have grand plans for the future—we simply fell in love unexpectedly.
Some may say marriage is a matter of luck. While I’m uncertain what brought us together, there are mornings when I find it hard to let him go. Some days, like today, feel like an uphill battle. On days like these, I crave support.
As the morning dragged on, I felt as though I was being swept away by waves of whiny children. I counted down the hours until bedtime, reassuring myself that I could manage not just today but tomorrow and the next. And then came naptime—blessed naptime.
After putting the younger two down, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror—I desperately needed a shower. I headed to my eldest’s room and tucked him in with his tablet. He mumbled something I didn’t quite catch, so I asked him to repeat it.
With a serious expression, he said, “You make me have a good life.”
Tears filled my eyes. “YOU make ME have a good life,” I replied. And it’s true; he does.
My partner and my children are my very essence. I don’t merely exist; they give me a reason to truly live. Although my days can feel long and lonely, that heartfelt moment reminded me that the energy I invest in my family is not in vain. It’s making their lives better.
So maybe today isn’t so hard after all. If you’re looking for more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the NHS. And if you’re considering at-home options, reputable retailers like Make a Mom offer quality insemination kits. For additional stories and support, you might enjoy reading about similar experiences in our other blog post.
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