Last month, I was subjected to online fat-shaming by a wave of men, and let me tell you, the comments were brutal. Some of the more outrageous remarks included insults that likened my body to “300 pounds of chewed bubble gum” and even worse. It all started when I shared a Facebook post that unexpectedly went viral, showcasing my postpartum belly with pride, flipping off diet culture while speaking out against various social injustices—like ageism, fatphobia, and racism—exacerbated by our current global crisis.
As someone who has spent years advocating for body positivity, I expected some negative feedback, but the level of vitriol from these men was remarkable. They targeted me not just for my appearance, but also for my vocal stance against societal issues. It was clear that they felt threatened by anyone challenging the oppressive systems that enable their behaviors.
While I can usually brush off trolling, one individual took it too far. He sent me unsolicited explicit images, threatened my family’s safety, and created multiple fake profiles to harass me with grotesque imagery. The most alarming moment came when he referred to himself as the “Christ of 4chan,” which led me down a terrifying rabbit hole.
For those unfamiliar, 4chan is a notorious online forum known for its anonymity and, at times, dangerous behavior. It has been linked to severe incidents of cyberbullying, including driving a young girl to suicidal thoughts. Realizing the potential danger, I swiftly blocked the harassers, temporarily deactivated my Facebook page, and heightened my privacy settings. This action curtailed the harassment but made me acutely aware that this type of online hostility could happen again.
I embody several identities that make me a target: I live in a fat body, I’m openly bisexual, and I’m not afraid to speak out against inequality. My history of bullying for my appearance, sexual orientation, and beliefs has shaped who I am today. In my youth, I faced relentless body shaming that contributed to an eating disorder and a diet pill addiction. During college, I was met with harsh criticism when I tried to embrace my identity, and I’ve felt pressured to conform to societal standards throughout my career in the entertainment industry.
However, my journey has led to healing and empowerment. I proudly claim my identity within the LGBTQ+ community and use my platform to advocate for change. No amount of cowardly attacks will silence me or diminish my message. The resistance I face only reinforces the importance of what I stand for.
This experience has highlighted that self-hatred drives people to lash out at others. They will weaponize their discomfort with your existence, especially if it challenges their worldview. More importantly, it’s a wake-up call about the ongoing fatphobia in society, not just for adults but for children as well. If I’m facing this kind of harassment, I can only imagine the challenges our youth encounter online. I feel compelled to continue advocating for them and for the younger version of myself who felt silenced.
To wrap up, I’ll leave you with lyrics from my favorite anthem, “This is Me” from “The Greatest Showman”: “When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out. I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.” My daughter and I belt out this song together, and it embodies my resolve. I refuse to let negativity dim my light. I will keep advocating for change and remain visible in a world that too often tries to silence voices like mine.
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In summary, the experience of online fat-shaming is a harsh reminder of the societal issues we still face. Despite the negativity, I remain committed to empowering myself and others.