As a new parent navigating the challenges of life with an infant, I often hear the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps” and to “let the housework slide.” Both phrases have been thoroughly dissected in various parenting circles, often with a mix of humor and reason. The idea behind “letting the housework slide” suggests that neglecting the dishes or laundry will allow us to focus on enjoying precious moments with our children. It paints a picture of carefree afternoons spent laughing and exploring the world together, embracing the fleeting nature of childhood.
However, for me, this advice is utterly misguided.
First off, where exactly is the housework supposed to go? If you’re someone who strives to maintain a reasonable level of order without being overly obsessive, there isn’t much room for slack. Those dirty dishes will still need to be washed before they can be used again. Sure, if I wash a dish immediately after use, I might save some time on cupboard trips. But that time-saving is quickly negated by the extra effort needed to scrub off dried food later. And while I could wear clean laundry straight from the pile, that pile still needs to be washed and dried, not to mention the time spent digging through it.
Even if procrastination could lighten the load of specific tasks, the visibility of unfinished work only increases stress, a principle reflected in the broken windows theory. While this concept may have its critics in politics, it undeniably applies at home. A sink filled with dirty dishes and a mountain of laundry creates an atmosphere of chaos. The mess encourages more clutter; the more disorderly the environment, the easier it is to toss aside trash and dirty clothes.
In essence, letting housework slide doesn’t make it disappear; it just creates a growing pile of chores waiting for someone to tackle them later. That someone is inevitably me, and “later” usually means after the kids are in bed, when I could be enjoying a good book or catching up on my favorite shows.
Moreover, the sight of unfinished chores can be a significant distraction. I’ve never been one to enjoy long breaks or extended lunches, especially when there’s work left undone. I could let the kitchen clean-up wait while I play a round of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” but I wouldn’t truly be present in that moment. Instead, I’d be fixated on the crumpled paper towels and leftover snack bits in my line of sight. Taking a couple of minutes to tidy up allows me to fully engage with my kids, unburdened by the clutter.
Lately, I’ve also begun to question the assumed causality behind this advice. When we envision a parent tidying up while their children play, it’s easy to think that their focus on housework detracts from quality time. In reality, the demands of parenting—like feeding, talking, playing, and cuddling three energetic kids—can be overwhelming. When I start to feel submerged by these responsibilities, I often turn to simple tasks, like sorting laundry, that give me a sense of control amidst the chaos. Whether it’s pairing socks or organizing toys, these small wins help ground me, allowing me to enjoy the fleeting moments of childhood.
Letting housework slide would only push those responsibilities onto my future self, adding unnecessary stress and robbing me of a vital outlet for managing the chaos. So, I’ll choose to tackle the housework and let this piece of advice slide instead.
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In summary, housework isn’t something I can afford to ignore. While the advice to let it slide may resonate with some, for me, maintaining a clean and organized home is integral to my ability to engage fully with my children, bringing order to the chaos of parenthood.
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