The other day, our family vehicle, which has seen better days, finally broke down. In a normal world, that would lead to a slew of questions. Should we repair it or trade it in? Do we opt for another unexciting but practical minivan, or do we consider a hybrid? What’s our budget?
However, given the current climate, this already-stressful decision becomes even more complicated. Are car dealerships even operating? What about mechanics? Will they wear masks? How do we even go about test driving in this situation? Do we bring gloves, hand sanitizer, and disinfecting wipes? Will we have to interact with someone else? If so, will I have a panic attack or manage to keep my cool?
The number of decisions we face is overwhelming.
Researchers suggest that the average American makes around 35,000 decisions each day. Based on my own observations, I’d say the typical mom likely makes at least ten times that. And during a lengthy quarantine due to a global pandemic? That number probably skyrockets to an astronomical figure.
We were already stretched thin with the emotional labor of managing a household. Should we enroll our kids in summer camp? For one week or two? Full days or just mornings? Is the cheaper option across town worth it, or should we spend more for convenience? Are the kids reading enough? Spending too much time on screens? Should I sneak greens into their pasta? Are we out of snacks?
Now, every little action demands meticulous planning to avoid COVID-19. We’re experiencing not just quarantine fatigue but also significant decision fatigue. And by “fatigue,” I mean a dizzying sensation that makes it feel like our heads might just spin off our necks.
It’s overwhelming.
It’s not just the major choices regarding safety around daycare openings or delaying necessary medical appointments; it’s the myriad of small decisions that used to be second nature. A quick trip to the grocery store for some wine and cheese has morphed into an elaborate expedition, requiring hours of preparation for what has become a rare outing. Do I have my mask? Check. Hand sanitizer? Two bottles. Hazmat suit? Maybe I should order one off Amazon…
These constant choices are taking a toll. We’re feeling the pressure. Well, I know I am.
In simple terms: we’re thinking far too much about too much. This cognitive overload can lead to anxiety, irritability, stress, and fatigue, as noted by Dr. Emily Carson, a psychologist at Stanford University. For some, like me, it can turn us into dramatic messes.
As family expert Lisa Hendricks pointed out, even the simplest decisions can feel paralyzing these days. Even taking a stroll around the block is now filled with an overwhelming number of considerations that didn’t used to occupy our minds. Sometimes, it just feels easier to do nothing at all.
Yet, we must eventually step out of our bubbles. States are beginning to reopen, and we miss our friends and family. The prospect of returning to work looms, presenting us with even more questions and decisions. Just thinking about it can make me want to hide away for the next year or so.
So how do we navigate this maze of decisions?
Besides contemplating building an underground bunker, of course.
Experts recommend establishing routines and lists wherever possible. The fewer decisions you have to make, the better. Without really realizing it, I’ve been rotating between the same three shirts and yoga pants for the past ten weeks—taking one decision off the table.
For larger choices, experts suggest setting clear criteria and letting go of the decision once made. Stop worrying about whether it was the right choice. Cancel that vacation you were uncertain about, or tell your boss you prefer working from home for another month. Then stop second-guessing yourself.
You might also try the 100% rule—coined by former Harvard professor Clayton Christensen—which states that it’s easier to stick to your principles 100% of the time than 98%. When it comes to concerns about COVID-19, establishing strict rules, like no playdates or only family visits, can simplify decision-making significantly.
Decision fatigue is a serious issue, but there are ways to cope. We just need to find what works for each of us. Ironically, figuring that out also requires more decisions.
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In summary, the combination of quarantine fatigue and decision fatigue is becoming increasingly challenging to manage. As we navigate this new landscape, establishing routines and simplifying choices can help ease the burden we all feel.