Like many, I have a strong type-A personality that thrives on organization, multitasking, and planning. The busier my schedule, the happier I feel. However, with my calendar currently devoid of activities—save for a long-delayed eye exam—I find myself struggling to find focus and motivation.
I miss dining out, watching my son, Ben, partake in sports, grocery shopping without a mask, and the simple joy of hugging friends and family. I long for the buzz of church services and the camaraderie of colleagues gathered around a conference table. I even miss the daily routine of picking Ben up from school and hearing about his day. Just last week, I was supposed to hike in the beautiful landscapes of Yosemite National Park.
While my list of missed experiences is extensive, I also recognize my fortune amidst the chaos. I am aware that many families have faced devastating losses due to COVID-19, while others struggle with dire financial situations. Healthcare workers continue to risk their lives every day, and here I am, sheltered in our comfortable suburban home with my husband and son. Both of us can work from home, and I only need to assist Ben with his e-learning. I have a friend who is due to give birth soon and has been isolating from her husband, a city firefighter, for weeks. She shares heartbreaking moments of her child saying goodnight to his father through a window. So, do I really have any grounds to complain?
Even if I feel unjustified, my feelings are valid. Each of us is navigating this pandemic in our own way. I often feel restless and anxious about the future. Will Ben return to school in the fall? Will my husband, who has been furloughed one day a week due to a pay cut, still have a job? Will I? Will my loved ones remain safe from the virus? I worry, especially since both my husband and child have asthma.
The stay-at-home measures have significantly affected Ben, too. A naturally social child, he used to wake up each day eager for school. Now, with classes canceled and all sports put on hold indefinitely, he seems lost and frustrated, mirroring my own feelings.
Yet, amidst the challenges, I’ve discovered a silver lining: more time with my family (even if it sometimes feels like a punishment!). My previous two-hour commute has turned into a few steps to my desk in the guest room. While I miss the bustling social life we once had, I realize that those packed schedules often consumed our evenings and weekends.
Now, I cherish the chance to spend quality time with Ben, especially since he’s growing more independent. I felt an emotional pang when he turned ten last fall; as he matures, he needs me less. Friends are becoming his priority, but social distancing has made it difficult for him to connect with them. As his mom, I felt it was my duty to keep him engaged, so I dove back into playful activities with him.
Before the pandemic, we spent time together biking, reading, and baking, but now our playtime has taken on a different tone. I let Ben take the lead; I’m no longer the parent who needs to control everything.
I’ve built a motorized boat from K’nex, Lego, and Styrofoam that bravely sailed the bathtub (though it promptly sank). I’ve flown a Minion kite, shouted “BANANA!” with abandon, and engaged in epic Nerf battles while wearing a bandana like Rambo. Together, we’ve tackled stubborn balloons and constructed elaborate chain reactions in our living room, culminating in a ball swishing through a hoop, leading to uncontrollable cheers.
We’ve even turned our driveway into a makeshift Wimbledon, complete with a homemade tennis net and exaggerated grunting just for fun. I’ve conducted soda geyser experiments with Mentos and Diet Coke, embracing the chaos.
Our adventures have included building a cozy fort adorned with twinkling lights, where we binge-watched late-night videos and laughed ourselves to sleep. Even when it involved a less-than-pleasant smell, it was all in good humor.
While the physical toll of playing has been real, the emotional uplift has been incredible. It’s offered an escape from reality, rekindling my creativity and encouraging me to live in the moment. Playing with Ben has shifted my focus to joy, silliness, and laughter—qualities we could all use more of during these trying times.
Initially, I believed I was fulfilling a motherly duty by playing with him to alleviate his boredom. Instead, I found a new friendship blossoming—a bond that helps both of us maintain a positive perspective during these challenging days. Although I miss life before the pandemic, I cherish this time with Ben. He may miss his friends, but I hope our shared adventures have made a meaningful impact on him as well. I’ve noticed he’s smiling more often, which brings me joy.
This weekend, though, I’m determined to win our homemade BattleBot tournament. With forks duct-taped to a remote-controlled car, he won’t know what hit him!
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Summary
In the midst of the pandemic, I’ve discovered a renewed connection with my son, Ben. While we both grapple with the challenges of isolation, our time together has blossomed into a friendship filled with joy, creativity, and laughter. Embracing play has not only helped him cope but has also rejuvenated my spirit, reminding me to cherish these precious moments.