In the United States, patriotism runs deep, and while not everyone shares the same enthusiasm, many Americans proudly display their love for the country. As someone married to a military member, I’ve witnessed this firsthand. Whenever my husband, Tom, puts on his uniform—something he does for most of the month—people rush to express their gratitude. They buy his coffee, shake his hand, and share personal stories about their own connections to the military. Tom isn’t a combat veteran, but that doesn’t seem to matter; people simply see him as part of the armed forces that protect their freedoms.
For him, it’s usually a humbling experience, but there’s one day when he politely turns down all thanks: Memorial Day. This day is not meant for him or any living veteran. Memorial Day is dedicated to honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country—those who lost their lives in service.
Each year, as Memorial Day approaches, I think of my uncle, who served in Vietnam and tragically returned home only in a casket. His story is shared by my family every year to remind us not of his death but of his life. Although I never knew him, I’ve come to recognize his face and his legacy through the tales told on this special day. Memorial Day allows us to keep his memory alive.
Many combat veterans across the nation also reflect on the friends they lost during their service. Even Tom, who hasn’t faced combat, has mourned the loss of fellow service members who succumbed to the psychological scars of war. Thus, Memorial Day serves as a solemn reminder of those who are no longer with us. It’s not a time to thank active-duty personnel or veterans; instead, it’s a day for remembrance.
However, this doesn’t mean we should forget to thank our veterans and active service members entirely! There are specific days set aside for that purpose. For example, Armed Forces Day, celebrated on the third Saturday of May, is an excellent opportunity to express gratitude to those currently serving. Each member of the military plays a vital role in maintaining our national defense, and this day is perfect for acknowledgment.
Veterans Day, observed on November 11, is another occasion dedicated to honoring all those who have served. On this day, we recognize those who have dedicated part of their lives to the military, whether they are retired or have left the service honorably. Many businesses also offer discounts to active-duty members on this day, making it a great time to show appreciation.
Additionally, each branch of the military has its own birthday, which is another wonderful opportunity to extend your thanks. From the Army’s celebration on June 14 to the Marine Corps’ birthday on November 10, these days can help you honor the unique contributions of each service.
As a military spouse, I sometimes wish a standing military wasn’t necessary, hoping for a world without conflict. But the reality is that those who choose to serve are aware of the risks involved, including the potential for sacrifice. If you feel inclined, it’s always nice to express your gratitude for their commitment—just remember to reserve Memorial Day for honoring those who lost their lives in service to our nation.
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In summary, while it’s important to recognize and appreciate the contributions of veterans and active-duty military personnel, Memorial Day serves a distinct purpose: to honor those who lost their lives protecting our freedoms. Let’s reserve that day for remembrance, while celebrating our service members on the appropriate occasions.