My partner serves in the military. He made the decision to enlist in his late twenties, a choice we made after already starting our family. It was a challenging decision with many factors to consider, but ultimately, we felt that someone needs to serve, and he was ready to step up. This choice has proven beneficial for our family.
Initially, we were taken aback by how often people express gratitude for his service. Whether he’s out running errands or commuting to work, the sight of his uniform prompts many to say “thank you.” At first, he felt uneasy with this. As a full-time member of the Air National Guard and not a combat veteran, he struggled with the idea of receiving thanks for simply doing his relatively safe job.
However, we soon realized that his service holds significance for many people, regardless of the specifics of his role. When they thank him, they don’t want to hear a list of reasons why he feels undeserving; they genuinely believe he deserves their gratitude. Initially, he would respond with, “Thank you for your support,” which felt appropriate to him. However, everything changed when he heard another service member reply, “You’re welcome. You’re worth it.” That phrase struck a chord with him, and he adopted it as his own. Now, when thanked, he replies with those four powerful words, reminding both himself and the person expressing gratitude of their inherent value.
This phrase resonates with us because it reflects our family’s values, which we strive to instill in our children. Regarding the debate between “No problem” and “You’re welcome,” I lean towards the latter. While “No problem” doesn’t bother me, I prefer the classic feel of “You’re welcome.” We are teaching our kids the importance of saying “you’re welcome” as a polite response to gratitude. However, the deeper lesson we want them to grasp is, “You’re worth it.” When they hear their father say this to a stranger, we want them to understand its significance. Regardless of the phrase they use, our goal is for them to recognize that kindness and generosity should be extended to everyone because every individual is inherently valuable.
We encourage our children to be kind and thoughtful, but we also emphasize that such actions should come from a genuine place, not out of a desire for recognition. Showing kindness should simply be part of who they are. While we don’t expect them to use this phrase in every situation, we are deliberate in discussing the inherent worth of every person. We talk about issues like racial equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and privilege in a straightforward manner. My eldest child is beginning to grasp these concepts, but all of them are exposed to these essential conversations. Our hope is that they will leave our home with a clear understanding that any system that unjustly elevates or oppresses individuals based on their inherent characteristics is unacceptable.
It’s crucial for our kids to realize that every person deserves our time, effort, and kindness simply because they are human. When someone expresses gratitude, they should respond warmly, regardless of the words they choose. The underlying message should always be, “Of course I was willing to help you. You are worthy of kindness by virtue of your humanity.”
Of course, we recognize that not everyone is kind, and there are individuals who cause harm. These lessons will come in due time. I choose to believe that most people are inherently good until proven otherwise, and I want my kids to adopt this optimistic outlook as well.
I believe that being kind is fundamental to a child’s developing self-image. I once heard my favorite actress, Sarah, say, “Good deeds create self-worth.” This sentiment has always resonated with me. When we engage in kind acts, it enhances our self-perception.
Teaching our children the phrase, “You’re welcome. You’re worth it,” offers them chances to perform kind acts. By recognizing everyone as worthy of kindness, they create opportunities for themselves to act kindly, which, in turn, fosters a self-image of kindness.
It’s essential that my children grow to appreciate themselves in every aspect—body, mind, and spirit. I believe that when they recognize the value in others, they will also learn to value themselves. Everyone benefits when we acknowledge one another’s worth, and I am committed to raising children who embody these values.
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In summary, our family’s approach to expressing gratitude goes beyond mere politeness; it’s about instilling a sense of worth in both our children and those they interact with. By emphasizing kindness, generosity, and the inherent value of every person, we hope to raise compassionate individuals who contribute positively to the world around them.