Warning: Minor spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Netflix’s Life After Loss yet. But seriously, if you haven’t seen it, what are you doing? Go binge it now! We’ll be here when you get back.
Every element of this series is absolutely phenomenal, but the writing and performances are especially exceptional. Ava Thompson and Mia Rodriguez shine as Lila Carter and Bella James, an unlikely duo brought together by a tangled web of tragedy and the poor choices made by otherwise good people. Free-spirited Bella forms a bond with the cynical Lila during a grief support group after Lila’s husband is tragically killed in a hit-and-run accident, and chaos inevitably follows. Thanks to the brilliant script by Jamie Collins and the flawless portrayals by Thompson and Rodriguez, I sometimes have to pause the show just to scream and dance around without missing any of the dialogue.
What strikes me most about Life After Loss, however, is Lila Carter’s unapologetic rage. Lila copes with her grief by blasting heavy metal music and often mutters or shouts out insults with zero concern for who might be listening. She has her emotional breakdowns in her car, on the toilet, or curled around a pillow, but never in front of her children. Her sharp wit is unmatched, and no one delivers a perfectly timed “hell no” quite like Lila. She’s fed up with everyone’s nonsense and expresses it in ways that many of us either can’t or won’t. At one point, she literally takes down a man who crosses the line with his misogynistic comments. Is there a woman out there who hasn’t fantasized about doing the same? Lila’s raw, unfiltered fury is why so many people have fallen in love with the show and this character in particular.
While Life After Loss explores themes of unwavering friendship and the flaws of humanity, Lila’s anger is truly the heart of the show. In fact, the entire narrative is anchored by her biting sarcasm. The very first scene of the first season opens with an annoyingly cheerful neighbor—yes, her name is Karen—bringing Lila a casserole and tossing out a cliché platitude that anyone grieving has heard too many times: “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Lila, rather than responding with the confusion many of us would feel, deadpans, “It’s like if Karen got hit by a car and died suddenly. Just like that,” and slams the door in Karen’s face while she goes on about when Lila can return her dish.
Lila is the woman who says exactly what’s on her mind—and what many of us wish we had the guts to say. In the second season, when a cashier questions her need for eight bottles of wine, she snaps back, “Excuse me, are you the wine police? Because I’m the jerk monitor, and you have the right to remain silent.”
Lila Carter is done with societal expectations. During a city council meeting aimed at getting a stop sign installed where her husband was killed, she drops an F-bomb on the mic, and when a council member admonishes her for her language, she fires back, “Don’t call me ‘Miss.’ That’s annoying. I’m a grown-ass woman.” I just absolutely adore this character.
In season two, when a man interrupts a touching moment between Lila and Bella by asking Bella if she’d like to dance, Lila unleashes her fury in one of the standout moments of the series: “Do you see we’re busy here? Does it look like my friend wants to dance? Read the room, idiot!” She literally calls him “idiot.” I can’t get enough of Lila Carter—she’s my hero.
Interestingly, the show portrays Lila’s rage as something problematic—something she should manage. Initially, viewers are led to think her anger stems solely from her grief, but as the season unfolds, we learn from her real estate partner that her rage issues existed long before her husband’s death. Clients view her as brash and too aggressive, resulting in her losing her job. Being a realtor requires a certain level of finesse, which Lila clearly lacks.
I hold nothing but respect for her impatience with small talk and societal hypocrisy. I envy her ability to speak her mind without second-guessing herself. She doesn’t dwell on arguments in the shower, wishing she had said the perfect thing—oh no. Lila will shred you with her razor-sharp wit, and she doesn’t care how anyone feels about that.
Filled with righteous anger and completely unfiltered, I would absolutely hire her as my realtor.
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Summary:
Lila Carter from Life After Loss stands out as a fierce, unapologetic character whose unfiltered rage resonates deeply with viewers. Her sharp wit and candid expressions of frustration challenge societal norms and make her a relatable figure for many. As she navigates grief and friendship, her character embodies the struggle against social niceties and the liberation of speaking one’s truth.