It was barely 9:30 a.m., and one of my tweens was already feeling overwhelmed with distance learning. Her Zoom login wasn’t working, she was confused about two assignments from her daily list, and the relentless rain outside meant no opportunity to play outside. She was done, and I was feeling the same way. While trying to assist her, I also had to manage the e-learning setups for my other three kids.
Like many parents, our journey through this crisis-driven education has been a rollercoaster. Initially, I attempted to juggle everything, determined to keep our family on a strict schedule. However, I quickly realized that this approach was unrealistic and led to frustration. We then shifted our focus to what was essential and what we could let slide. Despite maintaining a daily routine to provide the predictability our kids needed, there were days when we simply needed to take a break for mental health reasons.
The truth is that just because our children are learning from home, it doesn’t mean their experience is stress-free or easier. In fact, remote learning has been particularly challenging for my kids. I’m not trained to teach fifth-grade math or provide speech therapy, and my frustration often impacts their mood, creating a difficult environment for all of us. If I’m struggling with my own mental health, especially when my anxiety flares up, I can’t effectively support my kids in managing their feelings. Parents have to be in a good place to help their children.
This isn’t about surrendering when times get tough. Life during quarantine has its own set of challenges. With both my husband and I working from home while supporting four children’s education, the past few months have been nothing short of demanding. We haven’t found a perfect balance because I believe that’s simply not achievable. Some days, we must recognize when it’s necessary to pause for our own sanity.
The fact is, if our kids are struggling emotionally, they aren’t learning effectively. There’s no reason to force them to complete a social studies assignment or join another Zoom call if they’re clearly not engaged. Forcing a distressed child to continue with their tasks drains their energy and only increases everyone’s stress. As parents, we have the authority to declare a mental health day when needed.
Right now, we have a valuable chance to teach our children to heed their mental and emotional signals. If they experience anxiety or sadness, it’s crucial to acknowledge those feelings rather than suppress them until they become overwhelming. The best way to handle this is for parents to model how to take a mental health day, allowing their children to openly express when they need a break.
I won’t push my children to the brink of a meltdown that could take days to recover from. Instead, we take a proactive approach. When I notice they’re struggling, we pause for a moment. In the short term, we might enjoy a healthy snack, go outside, or take a break from schoolwork for a bit. If it’s clear that a longer break is necessary, we’ll take an entire day off. We might stay in our pajamas, dedicate time to free play, such as Lego building or reading, and even watch a movie. Sometimes, our kids just need our permission to reset.
You may wonder how teachers view this approach. Fortunately, my kids’ educators have been incredibly understanding and supportive. Many of them are also balancing their own children’s distance learning while teaching, so they relate to our situation. We’ve maintained open communication with their teachers, letting them know when we need extensions or modifications on assignments. Not once have we faced resistance for prioritizing mental health.
Some parents may argue that my approach is overly indulgent and that mental health days aren’t practical in “the real world.” However, this isn’t the ordinary world we once knew. The pandemic has introduced a new reality that requires flexible thinking and adaptability. As parents, we have the opportunity to show our children how to be resilient while also recognizing when it’s essential to advocate for their own well-being.
Children’s mental health is just as crucial as their emotional, spiritual, and physical health. These aspects are interconnected, and when one is off balance, it can affect the others. Therefore, we choose to take mental health days when necessary, just as we would if a child were physically unwell. We unapologetically prioritize seeing our children as whole beings, not just their educational needs.
I refuse to drive my kids to the edge of burnout. We’re working to lighten their loads wherever possible, ensuring their to-do lists are manageable. When tough days inevitably arrive, we recognize when it’s time for a mental health day. After all, there’s always tomorrow.
For additional insights on parenting and mental health, check out other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit, and for more on pregnancy and home insemination, visit WHO’s pregnancy resource. You can also learn about home insemination kits at Make A Mom.
Summary:
Incorporating mental health days into your child’s remote learning experience is essential for their overall well-being. Parents must prioritize their children’s emotional health alongside their education. Open communication with educators and a flexible approach can create a supportive environment where children learn to recognize and advocate for their mental health needs.