Remember the early days of quarantine? I was blissfully optimistic, thinking that this forced family bonding would be a delightful escape from our busy lives. After all, convincing my tweens to spend time with me has become a challenge, and suddenly, we had endless hours for puzzles, nature walks, baking, and connecting. Little did I know how naïve I was—history has shown us the perils of prolonged family isolation, as Jack Torrance demonstrated decades ago. How did we fail to anticipate the mayhem? That’s why it’s fitting to outline the stages of quarantine through gifs from the iconic horror film, The Shining.
The Initial Phase
Week 1. You’re feeling fresh and fabulous. You’re still making an effort with your hair and wardrobe because, hey, it just feels good. A few months at home without the usual hustle and bustle? No sports schedules or PTO meetings? No commutes? Bring it on!
This is going to be fantastic. We’ll take daily nature walks and share picturesque photos on social media. This is the life we were meant to embrace!
But soon enough, reality hits: one productive activity a day won’t cut it. The kids always want to play.
Eventually, you set aside that ideal of perfect togetherness for free-range crafts and nap times. Meanwhile, working from home is a challenge—trying to finish tasks while your little ones cling to you every 15 minutes? Not exactly the recipe for success. “Stop asking so many questions, and I’ll give you more screen time!” Seriously, how much do we pay teachers? Maybe we should TRIPLE it.
The Midway Point
Ah, happy hour has become a daily essential.
It was bound to happen—life was getting a bit, shall we say, dull. The kids are bouncing off the walls, and you’re going a little crazier by the minute. How much longer can we withstand this confinement? How many more questions can my first-grader possibly ask? When can I stroll through TJ Maxx again? And, really, how early can I start happy hour?
The Final Stages
Now, the kids sleep past 9 AM, and you’re fighting them to join their daily Zoom classes. And honestly, who cares? Go ahead, kid, skip the pants. Just don’t stand up.
The cabin fever is real. Just… ARRRRGGHHHFUCK.
“WHY ARE WE OUT OF TITO’S AGAIN? WHY CAN’T THESE KIDS STOP TALKING? WHY DOES MY PARTNER EAT CEREAL LIKE THAT? WHY CAN’T I FIND YEAST AT THE STORE? AND WHY WON’T PEOPLE WEAR MASKS?” Seriously, do you have to chew so loudly, dear?
And we all know how this ends. Just order some fun stuff on Amazon, lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour, ignore everyone, eat half a cake—whatever you need to do to make it through in one piece.
It’ll be fine in the end—just maybe hold off on rewatching this film until all this is over. For more insights on navigating these unique times, check out our other post here. Also, if you’re curious about the topic of home insemination, Make A Mom provides excellent resources. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy, visit this Wikipedia link.
Summary:
The journey through quarantine can be likened to the chaotic experiences of Jack Torrance in ‘The Shining.’ From initial optimism to bouts of cabin fever, the stages of confinement reveal both humor and frustration. As we navigate these challenging times, it’s essential to find ways to cope and connect, and perhaps even indulge in a little chaos now and then.