I recently found myself scrutinizing another mom’s parenting choices, and I know I shouldn’t be so judgmental. But seriously, let me tell you about this mom I’ve been judging.
For starters, she didn’t have a natural birth and weaned her child from breastfeeding quite early. She treats her toddlers to donuts right before nap time. Yes, you read that correctly—donuts! And she gives them apple juice before bedtime. To top it off, she yelled at her son for spilling her coffee. Oh, and her one-year-old still relies on a bottle, and her three-year-old is still in diapers.
This week, I witnessed her kids darting away from her outside multiple times, while she clumsily chased after them, spilling the contents of her purse and tripping over her yoga pants—yes, she lives in those pants. She doesn’t shower daily, and I caught her sneaking peanut butter M&Ms in the kitchen while her one-year-old threw a fit. Sometimes, she lets her kids cry it out, but there are times when she doesn’t. Couldn’t she find a consistent method?
In nearly every photo she shares on social media, her kids are running around without clothes. She even confines them to a Super Play Yard, which honestly looks like baby jail. I’ve seen her kids make a mess with Cheerios all over the floor and then eat them off the ground! And she openly bribes her children with cookies in public. I once saw her doze off on the couch while her kids sat in front of the TV, in baby jail, munching on Cheerios.
At the grocery store, her son couldn’t stop standing up in the cart while the other one was trying to open a bottle of shampoo—likely wanting to drink it! Every meal turns into a battle with her oldest son crying over the food, except when it’s donuts he’s being served. She drinks Diet Coke daily and her apartment is usually a mess, decorated with random DIY art that doesn’t match. She often talks about starting a workout routine or dieting, yet I haven’t seen any change in her figure. Her wardrobe is plain, and she could definitely use a haircut.
Her family is perpetually late, and her one-year-old sometimes wakes up during the night, taking forever to fall asleep. She craves some alone time and often wishes for a couple of days without her kids. Why does she need that? She’s a stay-at-home mom, after all, lounging in yoga pants and napping on the couch. Isn’t her life supposed to be a break?
As I reflect on this mom I’ve been so critical of, I realize she’s not just some stranger—she’s me. Lately, I’ve been consumed with anxiety about how others perceive my parenting, leading me to hide away. I avoid outings with my kids for fear of tantrums, misbehavior, or even my own meltdowns. I keep many of my parenting choices private, worried about judgment from others. I won’t even let my husband share pictures on social media if they reveal any mess or my youngest with a bottle. This preoccupation with others’ opinions has taken away my joy in parenting.
So, I’ve adopted a new mantra: WHO CARES!? The truth is, the only reason people criticize others is to feel better about their own imperfections. And sometimes advice comes from a genuine place, aiming to help—even if I don’t take it. I may not be perfect, but I know I’m a GOOD mom. Going forward, I’ll let others critique my parenting without losing sleep over it.
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In summary, I’m learning to embrace my imperfections as a mom and not let external judgments define my parenting journey.
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