A few weeks ago, I shared a light-hearted post on my social media, suggesting we should stop calling it homeschooling and start referring to it as “yell-school.” The tension is palpable as we navigate the challenges of parenting during a pandemic, and managing our kids’ education while dealing with our own stress can be overwhelming. Not surprisingly, someone chimed in, suggesting that I shouldn’t express my frustrations in front of my children.
Interestingly, recent research indicates that concealing our stress from our kids might not be the best approach. A study conducted by experts at Pacific State University examined how parents handle stress and the implications for their children. The study involved 109 parents in San Francisco, with participants split evenly between mothers and fathers. Initially, parents faced a stressful task—public speaking followed by negative feedback. Then they engaged in a LEGO activity with their children, where some were instructed to suppress their emotions while others were encouraged to act naturally.
Researchers monitored the interactions and found that those who tried to mask their feelings were less engaged and supportive during the LEGO activity. This lack of positive interaction, in turn, affected the children, who became less responsive. According to Dr. Lila James, a lead researcher, “When parents attempt to hide their stress, it affects their interactions with their kids, creating a cycle of emotional disconnect.”
This research aligns with what many of us have experienced in our own childhoods. We can recall moments when something felt off at home, yet our parents weren’t forthcoming, leading to a sense of confusion and unease. Children are perceptive and can sense when something is amiss, even if we try to keep a brave face.
Instead of concealing our emotions, it’s advisable to be honest with our kids about our stress levels—of course, in a way that’s suitable for their age. This isn’t about turning our children into our therapists, but rather about modeling healthy emotional expression. Dr. James emphasizes that children are adept at picking up on emotional cues, and when they sense a discrepancy between our words and actions, it can lead to more anxiety.
In these challenging times, we should embrace the concept of healthy conflict. It’s an important lesson to teach our kids that it’s normal to experience stress and that it’s okay to express it. With the ongoing adjustments brought on by COVID-19—balancing work, homeschooling, and social distancing—many parents are feeling the pressure like never before.
Dr. Clara Martinez, a child psychologist, noted that “Emotions that are stifled can resurface later as irritability or overreactions.” Taking a step back to acknowledge our own feelings can help us better navigate our parenting journey. Instead of hiding our stresses, we can share them with our children appropriately, helping them to understand that everyone experiences difficult times.
By being transparent about our emotions, we not only validate our own feelings but also teach our children how to cope with stress in a healthy way. This approach sets a valuable example for them as they grow up, equipping them with lifelong coping skills.
As we navigate this unpredictable landscape, it’s the perfect opportunity to model resilience and emotional honesty for our children. While stress may be temporary, the lessons they learn during these times will last a lifetime. For more insights on parenting and coping strategies, don’t miss checking out this resource on home insemination as well as Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit, which can be beneficial for those exploring parenting options. Additionally, visit Rmany’s blog for excellent advice regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being open about our struggles not only helps us manage our stress but also teaches our children essential emotional skills, paving the way for healthier coping mechanisms in the future.