Let’s face it, life can be overwhelming. Between managing our kids who seem set on redecorating the house with their crayons and preventing potential disasters involving our valuables, it’s a miracle if we can even find time to breathe. But being too busy is no excuse for rudeness. Seriously, if you don’t RSVP to an invitation, you’re being inconsiderate. I’m not talking about those generic Facebook invites to random events. I’m referring to genuine, face-to-face gatherings like weddings, birthday celebrations, or even the occasional baby shower. Your hosts are counting on your response to make essential plans, such as seating arrangements, how much cake to bake, and the quantity of party favors like kazoos and whistles.
Even the legendary Emily Post emphasized that “anyone receiving an invitation with an RSVP is obliged to reply…” Yes, you heard that right—obliged. Your answer can be a simple “Yes” or “No,” or even the slightly tacky “Maybe” if you’re using an online platform. But please, for the love of all things civilized, respond promptly—ideally within a day or two. If you choose to ignore the RSVP, you might just fall into one of these four categories of non-responders I find particularly frustrating:
1. The Overwhelmed One
This person is juggling so many responsibilities that the thought of adding one more decision sends them into a spiral of anxiety. They keep telling themselves they will respond later, but when “later” comes, they still haven’t managed to find the mental bandwidth to commit. And let’s be real; they might just show up out of the blue, hoping you’ll be okay with their last-minute entrance.
2. The Opportunity Seeker
This individual is hesitant to commit because they’re waiting for something better to come along. They’re keeping their options open, hoping for a last-minute invite to a more exciting event—like their neighbor’s fancy wine tasting that they’re convinced will be the highlight of the year. And when they finally decide to drop by your event, they might just bring along a few unexpected guests for good measure.
3. The Master of Disappearing Acts
You see this person regularly, but ever since you sent out that invitation, they’ve seemingly mastered the art of evasion. At school drop-offs or playdates, one moment they’re there, and the next, poof! Gone. They’d rather avoid the awkwardness of saying they can’t come than admit they just don’t want to leave their couch for an evening.
4. The Utterly Disorganized
This person couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag, let alone keep track of invitations. The RSVP might have vanished into the abyss of their inbox or gotten buried beneath a mountain of paperwork from last year’s PTA meetings. They’re completely at a loss for how to respond, and they may not even have your contact details handy to reach out.
When you don’t RSVP, it leaves everyone guessing. Did the invitation get lost in the mail? Did your child decide to craft an airplane out of it? Or are you just too busy binge-watching your favorite shows to reply? It’s hard for your hosts to plan when they’re left wondering if you’re simply busy or if you’ve joined the ranks of the non-RSVPers.
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In summary, RSVPing is not just a courtesy; it’s a necessary aspect of social gatherings that helps your hosts prepare. Whether you’re overwhelmed, indecisive, evasive, or simply disorganized, do your part and communicate. Because in the end, nobody likes to be left in the dark.
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