In the summer of 2016, our family was immersed in the joys of the season—road trips, pool days, bonfires with friends, and community festivals. However, everything changed one August morning when I took my three-year-old son, Jake, to the pediatrician due to unusual bruising. By that same evening, we found ourselves in the hospital, where he was receiving blood and platelet transfusions. The vibrant little boy who had just played with friends at a church picnic was now confined to a hospital bed, isolated due to a compromised immune system. Jake was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia, a rare and severe form of bone marrow failure, and we were suddenly thrust into a fight for his life.
The months that followed brought some of the most terrifying moments we could imagine, yet they also imparted several important lessons for any parent facing a serious health challenge with their child.
1. No one is truly prepared until they face it.
Initially, it’s like being in a nightmare where you’re taking a test for a subject you’ve never studied. However, you will quickly adapt as you navigate this new reality as a parent of a child with a serious illness. Every mother who supports her child through such a diagnosis becomes an expert in that area. You will find yourself advocating fiercely for your child, tapping into an inner strength you never knew you had.
2. Strength is often discovered in crisis.
While all mothers caring for sick or special needs children are remarkable, many of us weren’t strong until our children faced their challenges. My previous aversion to medical procedures vanished when my son required daily injections to boost his immune system. I did what I needed to do, often through tears, revealing a resilience that grew with each hurdle.
3. It’s natural to have emotional breakdowns.
People often admire a mother’s strength during difficult times, but they don’t see the moments of despair that occur behind closed doors. I had many days where I could only lie on the couch next to Jake, overwhelmed by grief and fear. Allowing myself to feel those emotions was crucial; it helped me process what was happening and find the strength to support not only Jake but also his siblings.
4. Accept help from others.
After Jake’s hospitalization, support flooded in from family and friends. Initially hesitant to accept assistance, we eventually learned to embrace it. From meals and gifts to outings for our other children and even a blood drive organized by our community, the kindness we received was overwhelming. Accepting help became essential to our survival during this challenging time, as it allowed us to focus on Jake’s needs.
5. Things may not be as dire as they seem.
While it’s true that the journey may include setbacks and difficult times, you will eventually adapt to a new routine that feels somewhat normal, even if it’s vastly different from your previous life. Your child will experience moments of happiness amidst the challenges; those moments will remind you that joy can coexist with hardship.
Being a parent to a child with a serious illness isn’t easy, but there’s a community of us who have walked similar paths. Each journey is unique, and while there is no roadmap, a mother’s love can guide a family through the toughest of times. For more insights on navigating these challenges, check out our article on this blog post, or visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Additionally, NICHD offers excellent resources on pregnancy and related topics.
In summary, facing a serious illness in your child teaches you resilience, the importance of community, and the power of accepting help. It’s a journey no one wishes to take, but it can also reveal the depths of a mother’s love and strength.