I’ll be upfront: I’m really passionate about skincare and haircare, and I make no apologies for it. Just last night, I was enthusiastically sharing with a friend about a rose oil lotion that visibly tightened my skin, while she seemed completely uninterested. As we sipped our wine, I was busy painting my nails. “Honestly, I’m worn out just listening to you talk about this stuff while you do your nails. Doesn’t it tire you out?”
My best friend and I are quite different, but that’s what makes our friendship special.
As a child, I would sneak into my mom’s Oil of Olay cream after my baths. The scent of that lotion still lingers in my memory. I’d stand in front of the mirror, applying generous dollops on my forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin, rubbing it in with care. I had read somewhere that upward strokes were the way to go, so I followed that advice religiously. It felt significant, like I was doing something meaningful for myself.
That was my first experience with self-care, and it instilled a sense of accomplishment and self-love in me—something that was not easy to come by as a kid.
I don’t engage in these rituals to look a certain way or to gain anyone’s approval. These practices are gifts I give myself, and they’re something I genuinely look forward to. I’d much rather invest my money in a facial or a good haircut than on luxuries like an expensive car or gym memberships, because those self-care experiences bring me far more joy.
Now, as I navigate my mid-40s, I cling to these self-care rituals like a child clings to a favorite blanket. Yes, I try all the anti-aging products and treatments I can afford.
People often ask why I seem to be working so hard to maintain my youth. The truth is, I’m not trying to hold onto anything—I’m simply being true to myself. I’m investing in my well-being because it boosts my confidence. And let’s be honest, it makes me a better mom—just ask my three teenagers, who can attest to the consequences of a mother who hasn’t had enough “me time.”
Let’s clarify: it’s my body, my choice. I determine how much time and money I spend on self-care. My friend opts out of spending money on under-eye serums and would never consider covering her grays, and that’s perfectly okay. Choice is empowering, and it’s all about what makes us feel confident.
If you want to get a neck lift because it bothers you and you believe it will enhance your confidence every time you see yourself, that’s your decision, and I wholeheartedly support it. On the flip side, if you love your skin just as it is and wouldn’t dream of injecting anything into it, that’s equally valid.
While looks aren’t everything, we do teach our kids the importance of kindness and that true beauty comes from within. I believe in those values wholeheartedly, but I also recognize that our happiness is important. I feel my best after a fresh haircut or when those fine lines around my eyes are smoothed out—thanks to a little Botox. I enjoy long baths and treating my skin because it revitalizes me. It’s my way of recharging after the challenges of parenting, working, and handling life’s stresses.
There have been countless days when the thought of an evening spent pampering myself has been the motivation that carries me through.
If there’s something you do (or refrain from doing) that makes you feel radiant and empowered, that’s reason enough to continue. Conversely, if the idea of applying creams or sitting in a salon chair drains you, then skip it—your body, your choice.
Let’s drop the judgment and assumptions about whether someone is trying to cling to youth or experiencing a midlife crisis. Everyone has their own path.
So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to treat myself to a facial. I’ve been eagerly anticipating it all day, and it’s the one thing that kept me from losing my cool when I received a call from school about my son’s incessant fart jokes in gym class. Again.
And if you’re interested in more insights on self-care, check out our posts on home insemination innovations at Home Insemination Kit. You can also find excellent resources on pregnancy and fertility at Johns Hopkins Fertility Center. Plus, for those looking for fertility boosters, Make a Mom offers valuable information.
In summary, self-care is an essential part of my life, allowing me to nurture my well-being and confidence. Whether it’s skincare, haircare, or other personal choices, it’s all about what makes each of us feel our best.