As I was browsing through my Timehop app— that nostalgic tool that showcases past social media moments— I stumbled upon a post from exactly ten years ago today.
A decade has flown by, yet little has changed in my life. I’m still married to the same wonderful man, although he has transitioned to a different job. His commitment to his work remains unwavering; he’s clocking in six days a week, and recently, he’s been working nonstop to finalize end-of-year tasks for his company.
For most people, such a grueling schedule would seem like a nightmare— even I, who enjoy my work, might agree. Yet, my husband thrives on this challenge, going the extra mile for his employer. While his dedication brings benefits, his absence at home during this busy season is felt deeply, especially with four kids needing my attention.
Someone has to manage the household, and that someone is me.
The holiday season amplifies this challenge. With numerous gatherings and celebrations on the horizon, planning becomes a strategic endeavor, especially when coupled with my husband’s demanding work hours. Coordinating holiday events around his schedule requires considerable juggling.
Ultimately, my husband cannot attend every holiday celebration we have planned. While I cherish family moments, I’ve learned to adapt over the years to accommodate his work commitments. For instance:
- Prioritizing Events and Traditions: Certain activities are more meaningful with both parents present. For example, cookie baking is a fun solo event for me and the kids, but our annual drive to see Christmas lights is a family tradition that requires Dad’s participation. So we make sure to schedule that when he’s available.
- Flexibility is Key: Some events have fixed timings, such as school performances or parties, while others, like our Christmas light viewing, can be done at our convenience. Adapting our plans according to his work schedule has become second nature.
- Avoiding Overcommitment: The holiday season is ripe with social opportunities, but attending every invitation can lead to exhaustion— especially for me. We’ve learned the importance of being selective about which events to attend, focusing on those that genuinely matter to us.
We strive to make our shared moments meaningful despite our unique situation. One cherished tradition is assembling “Project Joy” gift boxes for a local charity, OHgo. Each child picks out gifts for others while my husband and I gather essentials like gloves and scarves. This experience not only fosters generosity but also reinforces the importance of compassion beyond the holiday season.
Other cherished activities include rewatching our favorite holiday films or revisiting storybooks that only come out during this time of year. Even my teenage son enjoys listening to the tales he grew up with. We place a higher value on the quality of our time together rather than the quantity.
For our children, Dad’s work schedule is a familiar part of life. They don’t feel deprived of his presence, understanding he will always prioritize important events, even if it means rearranging his work commitments. They know that if something is significant to them, he’ll make it happen.
Though it can be challenging when my husband’s vision of holiday cheer involves a Santa hat paired with his work shirt, I remind myself of the bigger picture. His dedication provides us with a comfortable life and enables us to spread joy to others. So, while I may be the one hanging holiday decorations and wrapping gifts alone, I’m grateful for the blessings we have, especially during this hectic time.
While our family may not be together for every single moment of the holidays, the time we do share becomes even more special.
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Summary
Managing holiday festivities can be challenging, especially when a partner’s demanding work schedule takes them away from home. Prioritizing events, remaining flexible, and avoiding overcommitment can help in balancing family traditions and work obligations. The focus should remain on making shared moments meaningful, which can foster a sense of joy even in the busiest times.