“Your husband must be so unlucky!”
“Are you planning to try for that boy?”
“Another daughter?! Good luck, buddy!”
Yes, we’re welcoming our third daughter, and these are just a few of the reactions we’ve received—mostly directed at my husband. I understand that these comments come from a place of humor, but they are often the response he hears from nearly everyone we share our news with. He takes it in stride, but I want to take a moment to clarify a few things.
My husband isn’t unfortunate; he’s incredibly fortunate. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by such strong and beautiful women? Let’s be real: there are numerous advantages to being a “girl dad.”
Growing up as the eldest in a family of five boys and one girl, my husband has ventured into uncharted territory. While navigating life with daughters might be new for him, he’s embraced it like a champ. He might say he’s not a sensitive guy, but being a father to girls has revealed a more compassionate side of him that I believe has made him a better husband and person. I’ve noticed he’s become more patient and empathetic. It’s not that these qualities wouldn’t have emerged with boys, but raising daughters has encouraged him to adopt a perspective he wasn’t accustomed to.
Although my husband definitely faces new challenges—like managing emotional meltdowns and the inevitable teenage dramas ahead—he is also gaining invaluable experiences. Most importantly, he’s building trust and respect with our daughters. I can only imagine how rich he feels when they ask for extra hugs or express their love for him.
Would we consider having more children? Perhaps. But it’s certainly not because we feel incomplete without a son. Two things really frustrate me about these comments. First, people making these remarks often have no clue about our journey toward parenthood. What if we’ve struggled with conception? What if having more kids isn’t medically advisable? We’ve been fortunate with healthy pregnancies, but many aren’t as lucky, and your seemingly innocent comment could stir up painful feelings for someone else.
Second, my husband isn’t confined to a world of princesses and pink. He’s teaching our girls how to swing a bat and throwing techniques. They put on rock concerts in the living room and, much to my chagrin, enjoy plenty of WWE wrestling—practicing their moves on him. He avoids falling into gender stereotypes, which means our daughters are unlikely to box themselves in either.
My husband doesn’t need luck to continue being an excellent father to our girls. Good parenting is a learned skill, and he’s done remarkably well with our two so far. I’ve watched him master matching floral patterns and solids, learn to do ponytails, and even sing every song from Beauty and the Beast. He’s become adept at distinguishing between fake tears and genuine ones, as well as saying no to “Please, Daddy?”
Every day, we’re learning, and while gender can shape certain traits, raising a girl is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. Our daughters may share the same gender, but their personalities are unique. What works for one may not resonate with the other. My husband has learned when to offer a hug, when to suggest taking deep breaths, or when a time-out is necessary. He knows how to manage dinner time for the one who devours her food and the one who’s too busy chatting to eat. He’s dealt with squabbles over dolls and tantrums about footwear. But guess what? These challenges aren’t exclusive to having daughters; they’re universal parenting issues. So yes, we could use a bit of luck on the PowerBall, but when it comes to parenting, we’re focusing on skills and a lot of love.
Lastly, if you’ve made a gender-related joke about our pregnancy, it’s all good—we forgive you. This isn’t meant to be an attack on your friendly banter, nor is it a parenting manifesto. We know we’re surrounded by wonderful people excited for our growing family. As we prepare to welcome our third daughter, please remember: my husband will be just fine. In fact, I believe he’ll thrive. And if he needs a breather from tea parties, feel free to take him out for a beer.
For more insights, check out this post on home insemination. Also, if you’re on a fertility journey, Make A Mom offers great resources. Another excellent source for pregnancy and home insemination information can be found at Rmany.
Summary
This article dispels the notion that having daughters is a disadvantage for fathers, instead highlighting the unique strengths and joys that come with being a dad to girls. It addresses societal comments about gender, the challenges and rewards of parenting, and emphasizes the importance of skills and love over luck in raising children.