What if I told you that it’s entirely possible to feel an abundance of self-love yet still struggle with feelings of beauty? You can belt out Lizzo’s “Good As Hell,” enthusiastically tapping the steering wheel of your minivan, and still find yourself wanting to retreat from the world by the end of the day.
As a parent, it’s common to prioritize your children’s needs over your own. It’s not surprising that your clothes seem to have been in a food fight since your little ones arrived. And it’s certainly understandable if your makeup has been subjected to a toddler’s artistic whims, leaving you with nothing to conceal the bags under your eyes.
You might find yourself making promises week after week: “This is the day I start taking care of myself again. I’ll invest in things that remind me of who I used to be.” Yet, when faced with the reality of unfulfilled commitments, you find yourself reassuringly saying, “Next week.”
A part of you cherishes this new, messy version of yourself—the selfless mother who is softer around the edges and wears the pride of her children like a badge. But another part is weary of staying in the shadows, feeling drab and slightly embarrassed, as if you’ve let yourself slip away.
Among the myriad of things you miss from your life before motherhood, one of the most poignant is simply the feeling of being attractive. You don’t need to transform into a runway model or seek out a lavish beauty regimen. You aren’t asking for a high-end contour palette (although you wouldn’t say no). But oh, how you crave a fresh eyeliner that hasn’t been repurposed into a toddler’s art project or mascara that hasn’t turned into a sticky mess.
When you voice these sentiments, society quickly jumps in with well-intentioned advice about self-love and self-care, urging you to be grateful for the gifts of motherhood and to embrace your body as it is. While it’s essential to cultivate self-love, these pep talks often don’t address the deeper feelings or perceptions that linger, pushing you further into self-doubt.
You already know that it’s possible to be both beautiful and a bit of a mess. You recognize your worth, understand your potential, and know you’re a formidable mother. Nevertheless, this doesn’t diminish your longing for the days when you weren’t embroiled in the struggles of motherhood and had the time to feel beautiful.
You miss the basic ability to care for yourself in a way that brings joy. You yearn for the moments when you could take the time, energy, and resources to indulge your inner “princess.” It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge that longing. Wanting a positive change in your life that uplifts you is valid. It’s acceptable to seek out opportunities to prioritize yourself occasionally and not to settle for a life that feels less than fulfilling due to a misunderstood notion of self-love or superficial self-care.
While beauty can indeed be found in all shapes and sizes, it’s a feeling that must come from within, not something that can be imposed or drilled into you by others.
For further reading on this topic, you can check out our post on Home Insemination Kit or explore resources like Hopkins Medicine’s Fertility Center for insights into pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re curious about enhancing fertility, Make A Mom’s Fertility Booster for Men offers valuable information.
In summary, embracing self-love while navigating the challenges of motherhood can be a complex journey. Acknowledging your feelings about beauty is essential, and seeking ways to nurture yourself is not only acceptable but necessary for your well-being.