Picture this: I’m in the checkout line, desperately trying to keep my toddler from launching items out of the cart while I keep my other two kids within arm’s reach. Suddenly, a woman behind me starts chatting—because why not? She smiles and gestures toward my children, exclaiming, “I adopted a dog last year. Isn’t adoption amazing?” I can’t help but give her the ‘are you serious?’ look. Did she just equate adopting a pet with my children’s adoptions?
This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered such a clueless comparison, and unfortunately, it won’t be the last. Rescuing a stray animal by filling out a few forms and paying a nominal fee is worlds apart from the intricate process of adopting a human child. It’s not even in the same ballpark.
While I respect those who choose to welcome pets into their lives instead of having kids, equating that decision with the emotionally fraught, financially demanding journey of adoption is simply unacceptable.
And this isn’t the only oblivious comment my family encounters. Given that my children are Black and I am white, many strangers feel compelled to approach us. We’ve faced inquiries in various places—airports, libraries, and parks—about whether my kids are “real” siblings, why we didn’t have biological children, and even the costs involved in their adoptions. I’ve been told more times than I can count that I’m likely to get pregnant now that I’ve adopted.
The trend of casually tossing around the term “adoption” bothers me immensely, especially as the holidays draw near. Just the other day, I saw a woman in a local parenting group excitedly stating that she was going to “adopt” elderly people for Christmas. Intrigued, I discovered she meant buying socks and lotion for nursing home residents.
Is this a noble cause? Absolutely! I’m all for providing gifts to those who may otherwise go without during the holiday season. However, why use the term “adoption” for this initiative?
Before anyone points to the dictionary definition, I’m well aware that the term isn’t exclusive to adopting children. However, when we dilute the significance of adoption for the sake of garnering attention, it crosses a line.
As the holiday season approaches, businesses and organizations profit by incorporating “adoption” into their marketing strategies. For instance, stores often set up “Adoption Centers” for their Elf on the Shelf merchandise, where customers can choose elves to “adopt” for their family festivities.
Last year, I received a flyer from our local zoo, encouraging us to give the gift of adoption by donating a few hundred dollars to become “adoptive parents” of a penguin. In return, we’d receive a plush penguin and stickers while the real penguin would remain at the zoo.
Then there’s the “angel” trees inviting people to adopt a family or individual in need. While I wholeheartedly support providing assistance to those in need, how is this in any way similar to the adoption of a child?
Some may argue I’m nitpicking language, but adoption is so much more than a mere word. It represents a lifelong commitment—a bittersweet and complex journey culminating in a promise of permanence. The path to finalizing an adoption is fraught with paperwork, background checks, interviews, and inspections. Some families may complete this process in months, while others can wait for years.
Adoption is not a fleeting feel-good moment to share on social media or a term to exploit for marketing. It’s crucial to recognize and support various causes, whether they relate to animals, people, or projects. Each cause is valuable in its own right. However, using the word “adoption” inaccurately undermines its significance.
I wish those who casually use the term would take a moment to reflect on what adoption truly means. Instead of applying the term to every noble effort, consider describing your actions accurately—whether you’re rescuing an animal, helping an elderly individual, or supporting a charitable cause.
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In summary, while many people wish to support various causes, it is crucial to reserve the term “adoption” for its true meaning—one that encompasses a deep commitment and emotional journey.