I was venting to a colleague about my toddler’s sleep struggles. I shared that she had stayed awake until nearly 11 p.m. the previous night, only to be wide awake and ready to start her day at 5 a.m. “Sounds like it’s time to drop her nap,” he suggested, raising his eyebrows in that way that implied I needed to be tougher. Mark and I have been coworkers for a while; he’s a retired Army officer in his 50s with two teenage children. People refer to him as “Serious Bear,” because while he’s kind-hearted, he also embodies a “tough love” approach.
“I’ll consider it,” I replied, but honestly, I had no intention of doing so. Others have echoed similar ideas. Friends without kids have expressed frustration when I refuse to skip nap time for social events, and even my mother has voiced her discontent. It seems she’s forgotten the realities of parenting, so let me lay out the truth about naps.
The Reality of Parenting a Toddler
I adore my daughter, Lily. She’s full of charm and curiosity, but let’s face it—most of the time, she’s a handful. This has nothing to do with who she is as a person and everything to do with the challenges of raising a two-year-old. It’s undeniably the most rewarding yet exasperating job one could imagine.
If I want to see Lily turn into a moody, tantrum-throwing whirlwind, the quickest route is to forgo her nap. While I’ve never actively tried to eliminate her nap time, there have been instances when she simply refuses to sleep, and it feels like a wild, over-emotional raccoon has taken over our living room.
I refuse to endure that chaos myself, nor would I want my partner, Sarah, to go through it. Not that she couldn’t handle it—she’s incredibly strong and has survived three C-sections—but I wouldn’t wish a sleep-deprived toddler on anyone, especially not during those precious hours of peace.
The Parenting Journey
This parenting journey often feels like a lose-lose scenario. When it comes to getting a child to sleep, it seems impossible to find a perfect solution—at least that’s been my experience.
I can almost hear a sleep consultant gearing up to provide unsolicited advice, or a parent of a “perfect sleeper” who wants to sell me some magical remedy. But if you’re reading this and you relate to my struggles, this message is for you.
It’s for the parents who can’t seem to establish a consistent sleep schedule for their little ones, whether they are two, four, or even twenty-five. I have three children, and each has had their own sleep-related challenges in the early years. They’ve all turned into grumpy little creatures without their naps, leaving me with red eyes and a dazed expression as I head to work the next day, often waking up in strange places (yes, that actually happened).
My partner and I have had our share of arguments in the middle of the night, both of us too exhausted to make sense. Our sanity has been tested during the day, and we’ve learned to treasure those sacred hours of nap time.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from raising my three kids, it’s that I can attempt to manage their sleep or even restrict it, but ultimately, my children are in charge of figuring it out. As frustrating as that may be, the best advice I can offer is to cherish those nap times. Enjoy every moment, and if you can, join in on the rest. Stay strong; eventually, they’ll likely find their rhythm.
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