As a middle-aged, white woman passionate about social justice, I often find myself navigating a world filled with conservative viewpoints. My everyday life includes interactions with coworkers, extended family, friends, and parents of my children’s peers who hold vastly different beliefs. This dichotomy can be challenging, especially when I strive to maintain relationships with those whose values clash with mine.
For instance, there’s a mom at my son’s preschool whom I get along with quite well. I can picture us becoming close friends. However, when I wore a t-shirt that boldly stated, “Coffee, Books, and Social Justice,” she remarked, “Oh, I can tell we would never agree on politics, but I’d be willing to listen to you.” It’s almost amusing that social justice—a term that symbolizes equality and fairness—has been relegated to the realm of liberal ideology. Just like that, my shirt indicated to my community that I belonged to a different camp.
When I share my thoughts online, I often receive private messages from mostly white men inviting me to discuss these topics over coffee. While I’m open to conversations with those who disagree with me, as I believe much of our societal division stems from a lack of listening, I approach these invitations with caution. Often, they seem designed to challenge and dismantle my perspectives rather than foster understanding.
If we cannot reach a consensus on fundamental human dignity and acknowledge issues like systemic racism, white privilege, and gender diversity, then meaningful conversation is unlikely. To avoid wasting anyone’s time, I have established some guidelines for engaging in political discussions—especially given the current political climate as we approach a pivotal election year.
I’m open to meeting for coffee and exchanging ideas, but here’s what I need:
- Immigration Reform: I’m willing to listen, but if your solution is to exclude people rather than embrace them, we won’t get anywhere. The dehumanization of desperate individuals, such as locking children in cages or facilitating the adoption of children from deported parents—let’s call it what it is: kidnapping—is not up for debate.
- Racial Tensions: I’m open to dialogue, but you must do your homework. Listen to the experiences of people of color and recognize the historical injustices that have led to modern-day privileges for white Americans. If you can celebrate a black man forgiving his brother’s white murderer but fail to understand why black individuals might fear the police, we won’t find common ground.
- Spiritual Beliefs: I’m happy to discuss differing beliefs, but if your theology excludes individuals based on gender or sexual orientation, our conversation will end there. If you believe that Donald Trump’s presidency aligns with Christian values, we have no basis for dialogue.
- Pro-Life Perspectives: I understand the complexities surrounding abortion and would like to explore when life begins. However, if your stance lacks nuance and fails to account for maternal health or support for women, I can’t engage.
- Healthcare Reform: I believe in healthcare as a human right and am open to discussing how to achieve universal coverage. Yet, if you think medical access should depend on one’s financial means, our conversation will be unproductive.
- Cultural Changes: I understand that recognizing gender as a fluid spectrum can be challenging. If you’re willing to listen and learn, I’m here for it. But if you refuse to see the humanity behind these discussions, we’re not making progress.
- Gun Rights: I’ll hear you out about your right to own firearms, but if you can’t recognize that my right to send my children to school without fear outweighs your right to possess an AR-15, there’s no point in continuing.
I anticipate some readers may respond defensively. That’s perfectly fine; how others react tells me more about them than about me. It’s vital to remain open to tough conversations while also setting firm boundaries regarding the content of those discussions, especially when they contradict my values of respecting everyone’s dignity.
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Summary
Navigating conversations around social justice can be challenging, especially with those who hold opposing views. It’s crucial to establish guidelines for dialogue, focusing on mutual respect and understanding while recognizing fundamental differences. Engaging in discussions about immigration, race, spirituality, health care, culture, and gun rights requires a willingness to listen and acknowledge the dignity of all individuals involved.