Dear Kids,
As we dive headfirst into summer, I want to set a few ground rules—or rather, the lack of them—because this season is all about freedom and fun. So, go ahead and leave your things wherever you please. Half-finished smoothies in the living room? No problem! Socks strewn across the hallway? I’ve got it handled. Dishes piling up in the sink? Bring it on! And yes, Legos everywhere? I’ll happily embrace that chaos. Feel free to drag your blankets around and drop them wherever you want. I’ll make sure to fold them with care when you’re done with them.
Oh, and let’s talk about doors. Closing them is completely optional. I love the fresh air and the occasional wasp that wanders in. Who needs a stuffy house when we can enjoy the great outdoors, right? Our open-door policy means we’re embracing the world, and I promise, it’s all good—money is no object this summer!
Now, when it comes to wet bathing suits and towels, feel free to leave them on any flat surface—be it the floor or the banister. I adore a good pile of laundry, and why not get creative? Just make sure those suits don’t touch the wooden surfaces. I’ll take care of them while you get back to binging on Netflix. After all, Friends isn’t going to watch itself!
If you get hungry, please don’t feel constrained by normal meal times. The kitchen is open around the clock, and I’m here to whip up anything your heart desires. I majored in quick cooking, so don’t hesitate to ask. And if you decide to make a snack yourself, just leave everything out right where you found it. If the milk spoils, no worries; I’ll just grab more. Money? I’ll just work a little harder—no big deal. Cleanup? That’s my jam. I relish the opportunity to follow in your culinary footsteps. Seriously, how did you manage to get shredded cheese everywhere? Impressive work!
And every time you feel thirsty, grab a new glass. We have plenty! I absolutely love loading and unloading the dishwasher. We’re living in luxury with limitless water and electricity—what’s not to love?
If you’ve got plans with your friends, I’m your designated driver. Just call me when you need a lift, no advance notice required. I can drop everything in a heartbeat because your time is important to me. Need some cash for the movies? Just ask!
To my little one, whenever you’re ready for a trip to the pool, I’m game. And, yes, feel free to voice your displeasure while I slather on the sunscreen. Your dramatic squirming only adds to the fun! It’s a workout for me, and I appreciate the thoughtfulness.
Oh, regarding those goggles of yours—don’t worry about keeping track of them. It’s my summer goal to know their exact location at all times (hint: they might be in the car, wedged between the seats). I might even keep them under my pillow at night—because swimming without them? Unthinkable!
A few more things: Eye-rolling is welcomed! It helps me gauge how well I’m doing in your eyes. Showering? Totally optional—you know what’s best for you. Hats? Nope! The more sun, the better. Chores? Just let me know when you’re ready. The weeds aren’t going anywhere.
And lastly, please wear your headphones so you won’t hear me when I’m trying to communicate. It’s a little-known fact about me that I love yelling things only to hear silence in return—it’s strangely cathartic.
So, here’s to a summer filled with laughter, chaos, and love. If you follow these guidelines, I predict we’re in for a fantastic time together. If not, well, let’s just say it might be a short summer for some of us.
Love you all,
Your Ever-Patient Parent
Leave a Reply