Living with bipolar disorder, I often find my mind spiraling into chaos. This condition isn’t always obvious, as it can develop gradually, particularly in childhood, manifesting itself as overwhelming anxiety and deep depression. I was that child, biting my nails until they bled during a test or feeling utterly alone even in a crowded room. Unfortunately, the support I received often came in the form of what is now termed “toxic positivity.”
Toxic positivity refers to the belief that maintaining a positive attitude is the only acceptable way to navigate life, dismissing any negative emotions that may arise. Whitney Thompson, a therapist known for her insights on trauma, highlights the importance of replacing these harmful affirmations with more realistic support.
As a child, I frequently heard phrases like “You’ll get over it!” or “Things could be worse!” These sentiments did nothing to alleviate my struggles—instead, they deepened my sense of isolation. Psychology Today points out that ignoring negative feelings only magnifies their significance, making them harder to process. When you are grappling with mental illness, such dismissive remarks can leave you feeling unheard and guilty, as if you should simply be able to move past your challenges.
Children lack the cognitive tools to dissect these feelings, and it is often adults who perpetuate this cycle of shame. Mental illness can cloud one’s ability to think clearly, and while cognitive behavioral therapy can assist some individuals, it is not universally effective. For many, simply telling them to adopt a “good vibes only” mentality is utterly unhelpful.
Toxic positivity fosters a blame culture surrounding mental health. It implies that if someone is struggling, it’s merely a matter of not trying hard enough to feel better. This mindset can lead to a harmful belief that those of us with mental health issues are at fault for our conditions, while others—those who “function normally”—are deemed superior.
Instead of encouraging toxic positivity, Thompson suggests more compassionate responses, such as, “I understand this is difficult. You’ve faced challenges before, and I believe in your strength.” Such affirmations validate our experiences without dismissing them.
Another common phrase that can be particularly damaging is “Everything happens for a reason.” This statement implies that life is inherently fair and that hardships are a universal experience meant to teach us lessons. But for those of us with mental illness, this notion can feel incredibly invalidating. Life is not a competition of suffering, and suggesting that it is can make our struggles feel trivial.
Telling someone to “just get over it” is equally unhelpful. Mental health conditions like bipolar disorder or social anxiety cannot simply be brushed aside. They require real understanding and support, not empty platitudes.
To truly assist those dealing with mental health issues, Thompson advises us to say something like, “This is hard. You’ve overcome challenges before, and I believe in you.” This approach acknowledges the struggle while also offering hope without the pressure to simply “get better.”
While well-meaning, such comments often do more harm than good. If you genuinely want to support someone, familiarize yourself with more compassionate phrases and make a conscious effort to avoid toxic positivity. For additional insights, check out this related post on Home Insemination Kit or visit Make A Mom for authoritative resources. You can also explore Kindbody for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, combating toxic positivity requires a shift in our approach to mental health discussions. By fostering understanding and compassion, we can create a supportive environment for everyone.