Hi there, I’m Jamie, and I have a tendency to raise my voice. While I’m not the type to unleash a terrifying scream, I do engage in what I like to call enthusiastic vocal communication. Being loud is simply part of my nature. My mother is quite expressive, her sisters are known for their shouts, and my grandmother had a knack for barking out orders to her grandchildren. I never met my great-grandmother, but stories suggest she was no stranger to yelling either—albeit in Italian.
We embody the classic Italian-American family stereotype, where affection is overflowing, and if there’s a need, we definitely know a guy. Picture My Big Fat Greek Wedding but swap out the lamb for eggplant parmigiana. That’s us. And yes, we yell.
However, yelling doesn’t always indicate anger. My brother-in-law once joked that I operate at two volumes: Loud and Off. He’s not mistaken. Loud is my default mode, and I often shout without even realizing it.
My partner, on the other hand, is much more reserved. He appreciates my animated way of engaging with life and often finds my energy refreshing. When I get particularly fired up, he pulls me in for a hug, kisses my forehead, and laughs—not in a dismissive way, but because he enjoys my spirited nature.
Despite my loud upbringing, I had imagined myself as the serene, soft-spoken mother, but reality hit hard. Shifting from my naturally loud demeanor to a quiet, gentle approach proved to be quite a challenge. Rather than suppressing my vocal enthusiasm, I’ve accepted it as part of our family dynamic. My kids have inherited this trait too, and we don’t discourage their volume. After all, they’re half of me, and our dog joins in the chorus, resulting in a lively household.
Honestly, the only reason I sometimes feel guilty about yelling is due to societal expectations. I haven’t noticed any detrimental effects on my kids, and I have clear boundaries I never cross. I’m not unkind; I’m just… loud. Occasionally, I do raise my voice too much or for too long, which I regret. I acknowledge these moments and apologize to my kids every time.
Yelling, for me, simply means raising my voice. It’s not an excuse for losing control over my emotions. Interestingly, I’m not alone in my perspective. Experts suggest that it’s the message being conveyed, not the volume itself, that matters most. Communication delivered loudly isn’t necessarily harsh, and softer tones don’t always convey kindness.
Guidelines for Navigating Yelling
According to Dr. Sarah Langston, a specialist in child development, following a few guidelines can help parents navigate the complexities of yelling:
- Avoid Critiquing While Yelling: Dr. Langston emphasizes that parents should refrain from criticizing their kids when raising their voices. It’s fine to shout commands or express expectations, but making negative remarks about a child’s character while yelling can be damaging.
- Know Your Audience: The second rule involves understanding how your children respond to loud voices. If you have a child who is sensitive to yelling, it’s crucial to adjust your approach. In my case, I have a neurotypical child and one who is autistic. Both are accustomed to my loud commands, but I quickly learned that yelling doesn’t necessarily prompt compliance—it’s just part of our noisy family dynamic.
- Use Yelling Sparingly: Lastly, Dr. Langston warns that yelling loses its effectiveness if overused. Growing up, my mom’s loud voice was simply part of our conversations; it never felt intimidating. If you want your raised voice to elicit a swift response, it helps to maintain a softer volume most of the time.
Whether you are a quiet parent, a spirited one like me, or somewhere in between, we’re all navigating this parenting journey. It’s essential to recognize when we’ve crossed the line into negativity and to apologize when needed. Our children deserve love, encouragement, and honest communication.
In the end, it’s perfectly fine for our homes to operate at different volumes. For more insights on parenting, you might find this post engaging: Home Insemination Kit. If you’re exploring home insemination options, check out Make A Mom for authoritative information. And for more resources on pregnancy and childbirth, the CDC offers excellent guidance.
Summary
Raising kids in a loud household doesn’t have to be a negative experience. With a few guidelines in mind, parents can communicate effectively without crossing into harmful territory. It’s all about balance and understanding what works for your family.