In our lives, we often find ourselves celebrating significant milestones—the first loves, first jobs, and those precious first steps our children take. These ‘firsts’ are cherished moments, often captured in photographs and commemorated on calendars. The anticipation that surrounds a first day of school, for example, opens doors to new friendships and opportunities. A first date, if it goes well, is a cherished memory that both partners often revisit, filled with the warmth of nostalgia.
But what about the ‘lasts’? Those quiet, unmarked moments that slip by unnoticed? As parents, how many of us can recall the last time we carried our child, heavy and sleeping, from the car to their bed? Or the final time we cut up their food for them? Perhaps you remember the last bedtime story you read together, even though it went unrecorded at the time. These moments often pass without any fanfare, leaving us unaware that an ending has occurred.
I don’t remember the last time I cradled my son as he dozed off on my shoulder, nor do I recall the last time I gave my daughter a bath. They weren’t noted in baby books or highlighted on any calendars, and now, I wish I had taken a moment to pause and appreciate those fleeting experiences. Had I known that would be the last time, I would have cherished the feeling of their soft hair, the warmth of their little bodies, and the serenity on their faces. I would have marked it down: “Last time I carried my son to bed after he fell asleep on the sofa” and “Last time I tucked my daughter into the bathtub.”
Yet, perhaps it’s a blessing that we don’t always recognize these moments as the last. The heartache of knowing it’s goodbye can be profound. Think of the sorrow that washes over you when saying farewell to a loved one or the bittersweet feeling of closing the door on a home that held so many memories. It can be too painful to be acutely aware of the finality of these experiences.
As we grow older, we learn to accept the passage of time, often through reflection on the moments that shaped us, whether they brought joy or sadness. If we were to remember every single last moment, it might become overwhelming. It is the ebb and flow of time that allows us to navigate life with a bit more grace, making it easier to bear the losses.
I cherish the ‘firsts’—those radiant moments that stand out along the timeline of my life. The ‘lasts,’ however, blend into the continuum of years filled with growth and change, and an ever-deepening capacity to love.
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In summary, while we often celebrate the milestones of our lives, it’s important to reflect on the quiet ‘lasts’ that shape our experiences. These moments, although unmarked, are just as significant in the tapestry of our lives.
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