Lifestyle
By Jenna Thompson
Updated: July 23, 2020
Originally Published: November 11, 2019
I have a significant age difference with my half-brother—13 years, to be exact. This gap is filled with a multitude of differences. I was a rebellious teenager when he came into the world, more focused on fitting in with friends than on anything else, including caring for a newborn. By the time he started school, I was off to college, embracing my independence.
For many years, I enjoyed the status of being an only child, embracing the traits that come with it—like my love for structure and my need for alone time, which often ends in binge-watching my favorite shows. While I cherished my individuality, I often found myself longing for the deep bonds I observed between other women, especially the sisterly connections that seemed so comforting.
Though I didn’t join a sorority in college—thanks to my only-child tendencies—I unexpectedly met a co-worker while working at a BBQ joint who felt instantly familiar and safe. Little did I know, this encounter would blossom into a remarkable friendship over the next 15 years, transforming us into sisters.
I refer to her as my sister because the label “friend” just doesn’t suffice. Our journey has taken us from cheering at football games to exchanging wedding vows and welcoming new lives. She was by my side during some of my darkest moments, including when I found my husband unconscious and when my children were diagnosed with autism. We’ve navigated loss and infertility together while sharing countless laughs and even a few snorts. Despite the miles that separate us, we make it a point to visit each other at least twice a year, even during the chaotic early years of parenthood. She knows me better than anyone—perhaps even more than my spouse.
We are sisters, bound not by blood but by the strength of our connection.
Over time, I’ve come to realize that if you aren’t born into the family you desire, you can create one. You have the power to seek out those who feel whole and precious to you and prioritize them in your life. You can celebrate holidays together and share the secrets that only you understand. This profound level of friendship demands vulnerability, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a foundation of trust that gradually grows into an unbreakable bond. Before you know it, you’ve built a shared history, and she becomes the godmother to your children.
I often contemplate my legacy and what my children will remember about me. Will they carry forth my stories and the complexities of who I am? My husband is wonderful, but he’s not the most attentive; he struggles to recall my favorite Taco Bell order. That’s where having a sister becomes invaluable—they are the witnesses to your life.
People often refer to their husbands as soul mates, but I reserve that title for my sister. She was the first to accept me fully, postpartum body and all, assuring me, “I love you just the way you are.” She has shown me that even in moments of solitude, there is always the possibility of finding someone who understands and connects with you.
Nothing compares to having a sister. She is someone who can make you laugh until you cry and knows how to convey love without even speaking. Whether we’re doing nothing together or sharing a meaningful moment, it all feels significant. She is there to weather the storms of life with you and will sit on the floor playing with your kids as if they were her own.
If you find yourself without a sister, remember, it’s never too late to find or create one.
For more resources on pregnancy and family planning, check out this informative blog post and this guide on artificial insemination.