It was 7:15 a.m. on a Monday, and my 12-year-old son, Liam, was still fast asleep. His younger siblings were already up, griping about the cereal options. Their mother was nearly ready for her teaching day, while I was scrambling to get everyone out the door so I could make it to work. But Liam was refusing to budge. Honestly, I lost my patience for a moment.
I entered his room, flipped on the light, and went into full lecture mode. I told him he was holding up the entire family, that the real world wouldn’t tolerate such behavior, and that he needed to get moving. Instead of complying, he simply pulled the blanket over his head and emitted a long groan.
“You better be out of that bed in the next two minutes,” I warned, trying to sound authoritative. I envisioned a possible punishment but was too fatigued to think of anything since it was Monday morning. So, I left the threat hanging and exited his room.
This isn’t exactly an unusual scenario for him; he’s always the last one to rise. On weekdays, we usually manage to get him out of bed by 7 a.m., but Mondays? Forget it.
Interestingly, this reluctance to get up typically begins on Saturday night when he starts expressing his dread for school on Monday. By Sunday, he’s already feeling anxious about it, and by Monday morning, that anxiety has escalated to a point where it keeps him in bed. Although there have been times we considered letting him stay home, I know that’s not the solution for teaching him responsibility.
To be honest, I was at my wit’s end last Monday. I was tired of turning on his light, tired of tugging at his covers, and definitely tired of yelling from downstairs, “Are you awake yet?” until my throat hurt.
In some ways, this is a classic “tween” issue. I was the same way at his age, and I can already predict that my two younger daughters will soon follow suit. Yet, I often overlook one critical factor in these moments: my own struggles with Mondays. Just like Liam, I tend to dread the start of the workweek, which usually begins on Saturday for me as well. His sluggishness doesn’t exactly set the stage for effective parenting.
When I reflect on that, I realize I shouldn’t hold my son to a higher standard than myself. Yes, I’m supposed to be teaching him to get up and face the day, even on Mondays. However, he doesn’t want to get moving any more than I do at the start of the week. He’s my child, but he’s also human, and humans have been groaning about Mondays since the concept of the workweek emerged. He just hasn’t had decades of obligations to help him accept that staying in bed won’t make Monday disappear.
As parents, we sometimes exacerbate our frustrations when our children mirror our own traits. We find ourselves irritated with them when we should be showing understanding. After all, it took me years to learn how to cope with the dread that accompanies each Monday, and yelling at him first thing in the morning isn’t the answer.
I wish I could say I came to these realizations on my own, but as I left Liam’s room, my partner, Sarah, caught me in the hallway and said, “You struggle with Mondays, too. Maybe cut the kids some slack.”
She explained that Liam had been dreading school all weekend and even felt a bit down about it. Suddenly, I realized that I had been approaching him with a “toughen up” mentality when what he needed was empathy. It dawned on me that perhaps I was overreacting, as parents often do, especially on a Monday morning.
So, I went back into his room and said, “Listen, buddy. You’re going to have to figure out this Monday thing. But I want you to know something: I hate Mondays, too. I’m not great at them, and that’s probably why I get frustrated every week when you don’t get out of bed.”
He paused for a moment, still cocooned in his blanket. Then he said something unexpected, “You hate Mondays, too?”
I chuckled and confirmed that I did. I explained that many people share the same feelings about returning to school or work, yet we still have to rise each morning. “Mondays don’t just vanish. I’m sorry to say.”
Peeking out from under his covers, his hair tousled and shirtless, he remained silent but twisted his lip, let out a half-hearted moan, and eventually got out of bed. It seemed all he needed was to realize that Mondays are tough, that most people dislike them—including me—and that this is just part of life. I was reminded of something I already knew but hadn’t practiced well: sometimes, a little empathy can go a long way in parenting.
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In summary, navigating the challenges of parenting on Mondays can be tough, especially when we mirror our children’s struggles. Understanding and empathy can create a more supportive environment for us and our kids. We all face the dreaded start of the week, and recognizing that together can make the process a little easier.