As parents, we often start each day with high hopes and intentions. No one wakes up thinking, “I can’t wait to completely lose it on my child today!” Yet, after over 16 years of motherhood, I can tell you firsthand that it’s a daily struggle. Just this morning, I found myself on the phone with my former spouse discussing one of our child’s disappointing grades, which could easily improve if he focused more on his studies instead of his phone. He had two missing assignments, and honestly, there was no valid reason for them.
“I know you’re frustrated, but try not to take it out on him,” my ex-husband advised. “You’ll regret it later.” He was spot on—both in urging me not to let my temper flare and in reminding me that I’d feel terrible if I did. He admitted he was feeling the same way.
No matter how old our kids are, there are moments when it feels completely justified to lose our temper, especially when they’re misbehaving or dragging their feet when we’re in a rush. I’ll confess, when I finally express my frustrations, it can feel like a tremendous relief. But that relief is often followed by a wave of guilt, leaving me wishing I had handled things differently.
After those heated moments, I often lie awake at night while my kids sleep soundly, replaying the day’s missteps and feeling even worse when I see their innocent faces. It’s all too easy to reflect on those moments with regret and wish I had approached the situation more gracefully.
Parental guilt is a heavy burden we all carry. A recent survey from Primrose Schools highlighted that losing patience is a significant cause of this guilt, with 31% of parents citing it as their biggest regret. This topped other concerns like not spending enough quality time with their kids or working too much. If you find yourself losing your cool as a parent, you’re certainly not alone.
According to a study by Farm Rich, which surveyed 2,000 parents of school-aged children, a quarter often second-guess their parenting choices, with losing their temper being the leading source of guilt. To help parents feel supported, Primrose Schools created the LetGuiltGo initiative, fostering a community where parents can share their experiences and find reassurance.
The truth is, our children are little beings who know how to push our buttons. Just the other day, my son dropped a yogurt container, creating a mess in my clean kitchen. While he thought he cleaned it up, I was left feeling like my hard work had been undone. I managed to keep my cool, which felt like a small victory, but I know I won’t always succeed.
What I’ve come to realize is that it’s okay not to be perfect. Each day is a new opportunity to try again and to learn from our missteps. Perhaps I’ll just avoid buying yogurt for a while!
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Summary:
Losing our temper with our children is the leading cause of parental regret, as many parents wrestle with guilt after expressing frustration. Daily struggles, misbehavior, and the challenge of maintaining patience can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Surveys show that a significant percentage of parents express regret over losing their patience, prompting initiatives like LetGuiltGo to provide support and community. Each day offers a chance to improve our responses and approach parenting with a focus on understanding and kindness.