Let’s be real: your period isn’t exactly a comedy show when it hits. The discomfort of your uterus feeling like it’s caught in a relentless grip doesn’t exactly inspire laughter. But as the saying goes, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. That’s where these cheeky period jokes come into play!
While they might not offer the same relief as a heating pad or a tub of ice cream, these jokes are perfect for distracting you from those monthly woes. If you’re also feeling a bit hormonal, you might enjoy checking out our light-hearted take on boob humor too.
Menstrual Jokes for Some Much-Needed Laughter
- Did you catch the story about the rapper who only performed during her period? They said she had a killer flow.
- Period: Guess who’s back… Me: Seriously? Can’t we skip this today? Period: How about I return in 9 months? Me: Please, just stop singing!
- This whole menstrual situation really cramps my style.
- What type of bicycles do women ride? Menstrual cycles!
- Girl: Hey, Mother Nature! It’s been a while. Mother Nature: UTERUS PUNCH!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tampon. Tampon who? You bloody well know who I am.
- Periods are a great way to learn how to get blood out of things… which explains why there are more stories of men caught for murder.
- A young woman walks into a pharmacy looking for tampons. She sees a sign: five boxes for a dollar. Thinking it’s a misprint, she asks the clerk. He says, “Yes, it’s correct! For one week only, no strings attached.”
- In American Sign Language, the sign for having your period looks like you’re punching yourself in the face… that feels pretty accurate!
- Guess you could say people with irregular periods go with the flow.
- What’s an ovary’s favorite type of television show? Period dramas.
- Period: WAKE UP A**HOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS. Period: How about a whole chocolate cake for breakfast? And by the way, how’s that back pain treating you? Period: Let’s find a giant cookie and eat it!
- Uterus: I didn’t bleed yesterday—time to wear those cute panties! Also Uterus: Surprise!
- A woman’s period is like her body accidentally hitting caps lock on her emotions once a month.
- Periods are so unpredictable. Sometimes it’s a peaceful creek, other times it’s like, “Evacuate the area! Tsunami incoming!”
- People who exercise to alleviate cramps are the true survivors.
- What’s my favorite mythical creature? The happy girls in tampon commercials.
- Getting your period feels like being attacked by a dementor. You think nothing will make you happy again, except maybe chocolate!
- Uterus: You have a full day planned? Me: Please no! Uterus: Wouldn’t it be a shame if something were to happen?
- Me: *prepares with supplies* Uterus: Nah. Me: *wearing light bottoms with no supplies* Uterus: LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMBLEEEEE!
- Uterus: Your period is done now. Uterus: Just kidding, here’s some brown sludge.
- A woman complains about her awful period. Her husband quips, “Are you sure you’re not ovary-acting?”
- They should include prizes in tampon boxes. “Congrats! Your period sucks, but here’s a discount on ice cream!”
- When I’m on my period: Person: Hey. Me: Can you be quiet, please?
- If a tampon were thrown into a crowd of boys, it would be chaos—like when George gets contaminated in Monsters Inc.
- Did you hear about the documentary screening on period jokes? The audience gave it a standing ovulation.
- I once panicked thinking I was on my period for 23 days… Turns out it was just three hours.
- Me 80% of the time: *stoic and emotionless* Me on my period: “Why am I crying?” “I DON’T KNOW!”
- After an hour of cramps, I think, “OK, I can handle this.” Uterus: “How about this?” *pain cranked up* Me: “I hate you.” Uterus: “Same.”
- Cramps before your period? It’s like your uterus humming the Jaws theme song.
- Stepping out of the shower on your period feels like a race against time and gravity.
- What do I hate doing on my period? Coughing, sneezing, laughing, sitting, lying, standing, going out… basically existing.
- Why can’t periods just last an hour? Like, okay, I get it—I’m not pregnant. Time to leave!
- Me: I adore babies! Can’t wait for a mini-me. Period: *late by two hours* Me: ……………………………
- Why do girls want to be mermaids? – No pants. – No periods. – Perfect hair. – NO PERIODS. – And luring men to their demise.
- Heat is great for cramps. You could use a heating pad, but why not just rip your uterus out and set it on fire? Much easier!
- Me, in my shipwreck diary: “If my calculations are correct, I should have enough food for one month.” Period: “LOL.”
- How do you confuse a historian? Hand them a tampon and ask what period it’s from.
- Jokes about menstruation aren’t funny. Period.
If you’re looking for more insights on this topic, check out this post from our other blog. And for more on home insemination techniques, visit NHS for reliable information. You can also explore fertility supplements to boost your journey.
In conclusion, while periods can be tough, sometimes a good laugh can lighten the mood. Embrace the humor in the struggle and use these jokes to distract yourself during those challenging days!