I remember feeling a bit taken aback. Worry? Why would I need to worry? Was there an implication that something was wrong with me? The thought of wanting children has never crossed my mind. Should I be concerned about not wanting kids? The idea of finding “the right man” might be the most perplexing notion of all. By this stage in my life, I had met, dated, and even lived with a few so-called right men. The truth is, I wasn’t seeking marriage. Frankly, that kind of commitment scared me. I had been married once for a brief six months and learned that I had no desire to go down that road again. Thankfully, I didn’t need to endure the same realization regarding children.
From an early age, I knew motherhood wasn’t in my cards. While many little girls were obsessing over baby dolls and pretending to run households, I was busy collecting stuffed animals and immersing myself in music. I never cared for Ken or Barbie. I mean, come on, I’m a brunette! My childhood crushes were Prince and Paul Stanley—who, believe it or not, share more similarities than you’d think. The pouty lips, makeup, and undeniable charisma? They’re practically twins.
Perhaps my upbringing played a role in shaping my perspective. Admittedly, my maternal figures weren’t particularly nurturing. But that didn’t stop me from dressing my dog in baby clothes and insisting he sit in a high chair. That action likely led others to assume I was just your typical girl who wanted kids. Nope! I simply wanted dogs—lots of them.
Still, the notion that a woman’s worth is measured by the number of children she has or desires is frustrating. How often do we pose that question to men? Rarely, if ever. Instead, the focus is on their aspirations, dreams, and accomplishments. Women have ambitions too—even those with children. And before anyone takes offense, let me clarify: being a mother is undeniably significant, and there’s no “just” about it. However, for those of us who don’t wish to become mothers—to humans, that is—we shouldn’t be labeled as defective or incomplete.
Now at 43, I’ve never felt that overwhelming urge to reproduce. The legacies I aspire to leave behind are my writings, art, and creative achievements. Does that make me abnormal? Is it a sign of some hormonal imbalance? Or is it simply a testament to being true to myself, much like many women are choosing to do despite society’s attempts to shame or question our femininity? I lean towards the latter.
Not every woman has the desire to have children. It’s that straightforward. And the same goes for men who feel the same way. If there’s a biological clock ticking away, some of us choose to do more than just hit the snooze button—like smashing it against the nearest wall. For me, there’s been no such experience. I’m 43, and still, nothing. No ticking. No alarms. Just a peaceful, content existence. If you’re curious about alternatives or want to explore the idea of at-home insemination, check out this reputable online retailer of at-home insemination syringe kits, Cryobaby. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is excellent.
In summary, not all women want children, and that’s perfectly normal. Embracing our choices—whether they align with societal expectations or not—is what truly matters.
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