During my first pregnancy, I gained 50 pounds, which was quite a shift for someone who had long been preoccupied with maintaining a slender figure. For nearly two decades, I battled disordered eating, often using exercise as a form of punishment, and I perceived my body as much larger than it truly was. My teenage years were marred by an addiction to weight loss pills, while cycles of binging and purging felt like trendy dieting methods I couldn’t resist trying repeatedly. Despite my thin appearance, no one ever inquired about my well-being.
Then came my first pregnancy, during which I naturally gained weight to nurture my baby girl. My OB was delighted and even joked at my last prenatal appointment that my added “cushion” would facilitate an easier delivery. For the first time in my life, gaining weight was met with celebration instead of criticism. It was a surprising and heartwarming experience.
A Different Experience with My Second Pregnancy
However, my second pregnancy was a different story. By that time, I hadn’t lost any weight. After exhaustively trying to shed pounds, I finally looked in the mirror one day and accepted my mom-bod. I recognized the stretch marks, cellulite, and extra weight, but I also remembered the miracle my body accomplished: it grew and birthed a child. My body was pleading for acceptance after all we had been through, so I embraced it.
That was two years ago, and I haven’t looked back since. I’m on a path to self-acceptance, genuinely appreciating my plus-sized body, and my struggles with disordered eating are behind me. Cue Lizzo’s “Good as Hell,” because that’s how I’ve been feeling lately—until my second set of prenatal visits began.
Facing Challenges During Prenatal Visits
While my new OB was kind, she still focused on my size before considering my overall health. I informed her of my past issues with body image and eating, so she limited discussions about my weight to only when necessary. For years, I harmed myself in the name of health because I feared becoming part of the “obesity epidemic” that had been drilled into me.
Even after passing blood tests with flying colors, she often ordered repeat tests “just in case.” When my son appeared to be in a higher weight and height percentile than my daughter, it was immediately assumed my size contributed. I received unsolicited advice about weight loss, “just in case.” Even with a negative glucose test, I was given information on managing gestational diabetes. “Just in case.”
At every visit, the same upsetting word was documented: “Obesity.” Despite feeling better than ever and having an easier second pregnancy, this label overshadowed my experience. It forced me to monitor myself closely, log every pound gained, and remain hyper-aware. Those seven letters made me want to erase them from existence and left me questioning my newfound body confidence.
Challenging the Notion of Obesity
The harsh reality is that I’ve been avoiding the term “obesity” since I first heard about it on the news. Back in middle school, I remember shuddering at the images of faceless, overweight individuals. For years, I mistreated my body, terrified of being labeled as part of a so-called epidemic.
It’s only recently that I’ve realized obesity isn’t a contagious disease; after all, you can’t “catch” fat. There is mounting evidence proving that the BMI system is outdated and that health can exist at various sizes. We must challenge the assumption that thinness equates to health or that larger bodies are inherently unhealthy. Our bodies are not one-size-fits-all, so why do we treat them as such?
The Need for Equal Care and Respect
In the context of pregnancy and motherhood, we should offer equal care and respect to all women, regardless of their size. My younger self would have benefitted from someone recognizing the damage being done to my dangerously thin body. As a plus-sized, pregnant woman now, I wish I had been acknowledged as the strong, healthy individual I’ve become.
My journey of body acceptance enabled me to let go of the anxiety surrounding prenatal visits and celebrate my second pregnancy without unnecessary shame. The months passed quickly, filled with chasing and playing with my active toddler. When my due date arrived, I labored for less than 12 hours, and with just three pushes, my son was born while “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen played in the background. It was the perfect anthem for my experience.
I thrived during both my pregnancy and birth, all in a “medically obese” body, and that is indeed significant.
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Summary
This article reflects on personal experiences of pregnancy in a larger body, highlighting the struggle with societal perceptions of health and weight. It emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and challenges the notion that health can be judged solely by size. The author recounts their journey towards embracing their body during pregnancy and the need for better care for all women, regardless of body size.