I recall the countless hours spent at the kitchen table with my first child, insisting she grip her crayon just right—like those preschool teachers advise. But the truth is, she wasn’t even four or five years old; she was still in diapers! As a new mom, I was consumed by the desire for her to stay ahead of the curve, perhaps so I could share her impressive handwriting skills with other parents at the park.
This was the same child who I taught to express herself using baby sign language and who amazed me when she first said “grandma,” transitioned out of daytime diapers, and comfortably slept through the night in her toddler bed. Fast forward to now, and with four children under my belt, I’ve learned that it’s essential to relax regarding developmental milestones. Children acquire skills at different rates—be it writing, identifying colors, potty training, or learning to sleep through the night. And that’s perfectly fine.
If you need more convincing, consider the differences between a seven-year-old’s hand and that of a child in the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS), which includes those under five. These differences significantly impact a child’s ability to master fine motor skills like writing or using scissors. Many parents and educators may not realize that they are pressuring children to perform tasks that their bodies simply aren’t ready for. I was guilty of this too, pushing my child to excel instead of allowing her to develop at her own pace.
While handwriting is indeed crucial for learning—engaging the brain, improving memory, enhancing focus, and even calming nerves—timing is everything. An occupational therapist, Sarah Miller, noted that handwriting significantly benefits a child’s academic experience, but parents need to take a step back and consider their child’s developmental age. Each child grows at their own pace, and skills like fine motor abilities develop in tandem with gross motor skills.
So instead of trying to force a three-year-old to cut neatly, why not take them to the park instead? Allow them to engage in sensory play, which is vital for their growth. Children are not designed to sit still for long periods. Miller suggests making everyday activities fun and incorporating various textures and tools, so movement and enjoyment become part of the learning process.
Instead of repetitive writing exercises that feel more like punishment, encourage creativity through play. Let your child form letters with Play-Doh or hang from the monkey bars to build strength in their hands. The benefits of outdoor play are well-documented, and it often leads to better sleep for children.
By the time they reach age five, kids should be learning to print letters and numbers and consistently use one hand for fine motor tasks. By age seven, they should be able to print words neatly, draw recognizable shapes, and manage basic self-care tasks. It’s important to recognize the two-year developmental window to allow children to grow at their own pace.
As parents, we are both educators and observers. Look out for signs of developmental delays, such as indecisiveness about hand preference or difficulty with basic tasks like drawing shapes and cutting along lines. If you notice these issues, compile your concerns and consult with your pediatrician or evaluators for guidance.
So, allow your preschooler to color outside the lines. You’ll both find joy in the process.
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Summary
Forcing preschoolers to engage in writing too early is counterproductive. Children develop at different rates, and it’s crucial to respect their individual timelines. Fine motor skills come with time and should be supported through play rather than pressure. Encouraging outdoor activities and sensory experiences can foster development more effectively than traditional writing exercises.